


Second Chances

by The_idea_master



Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra, Avatar: The Last Airbender, The Last Airbender (2010)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-10
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2020-04-24 03:05:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 29,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19164544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_idea_master/pseuds/The_idea_master
Summary: A Sequel to Learning Curves, this story takes place about one year after Azula’s Fever. Ty Lee is currently acting as ambassador for the Fire Nation in Republic City thanks to Azula. Though the acrobat has remained absent for some time both write when they can to stay in touch. This story picks up with one such letter.





	1. Chapter 1

Azula walked upon the flower box ledge in perfect poise. Wind tugged faintly at her clothes but the feeling was greeted with open arms. A refreshing breeze was nearly as good as a cold treat on a summer day. Sighing, turning about, and stepping off the ledge Azula wandered inside once more.  
Kiyi ran amuck about the palace having grown since last year. She was slender, beautiful, and fiery. Everything about her resembled the ripe youth of spring. From her light brown hair to her wide smile and glittering eyes.  
"You're bored without her aren't you?" Zuko mused, stepping up beside his sister.  
"She kept things interesting," Azula agreed, "but she has important work to do."  
"If you can believe she and Sokka won't burn the building down during their meeting in Republic City," Zuko snorted.  
"She's savvy," Azula promised, "and the ambassador the fire nation needs."  
"I still don't understand why you didn't offer to take the role," Zuko frowned. "I know you've moved on but-what I'm trying to say is that your past isn't keeping you from doing these sorts of things anymore."  
"Maybe, but I've had my political dance," Azula shrugged. "The world needs someone amiable, gentle, good natured, and passionate. Not the analytical eye of a general. Things can be fragile and I'm not always delicate."  
"Fair," Zuko nodded. "But you have experience."  
"And she has the visionary at heart I never did. To look past the benders and more at the world as a whole. A world full of people not just those who can wield elements and those who can't. I have faith in her. She'll be fine," Azula insisted. She knew her brother was anxious to hear what had been determined in Republic City: whether or not his funding had gone through, if the infrastructure was on schedule, how the legal system would shape up, and more. Truthfully, Azula was nervous too but she'd prepared her friend as much as she could.  
"I guess it's just a waiting game now," Zuko sighed, pursing his lips. "Why don't we get out of this palace for a bit? Have an adventure?"  
"I'd agree but you have weddings to plan," Azula smirked. "Or did you forget Zuzu? You always have a knack for having your head up your ass in regard to important things."  
"And there's the insult," Zuko sighed. He abandoned his sister in the hall much to her pleasure. He was beginning to ask a lot of questions and she was tired of answering them. At least she could still manipulate his leaving like she used to. That was something that always came in handy.  
With a content sigh, Azula walked slowly back to her room. The place was tidy, hardly anything out of sort, but it was well lived in as far as appearances went. Such details of personality were new. Azula had a habit of coming and going once upon a time but she'd recently decided that staying wasn't too bad either. Sure, she enjoyed exploring and living freely but there was comfort in a home. Even if it was a haunted one.  
Her eyes fell upon the old burn mark beneath a candle's glow. That one faint hand mark upon wood had caused her so much agony. Even now she could recall the burning in her stomach, the ache in her chest, and the stifling proximity of the situation. With a shaky breath, the princess turned her back and sat down at her desk.  
With a shaking hand she began to write. If there was anyone who could hear out her worries it was Ty Lee. Perhaps bothering the new fire nation ambassador wasn't wise when she was away on business but Azula didn't care. Part of her still enjoyed using her status to obtain little privileges. Such as disguising a letter as official mail. No one needed to know the difference beside the person reading the message.  
Smiling faintly to herself, Azula began to write:  
Ty Lee,  
My brother finds your departure slightly unnerving. Despite my assurances that you are well equipped for the job he can't help but worry. It's pathetic really, but he's still new to everything regarding Republic City. If he'd read more he'd know this sort of thing has happened frequently throughout history, but I'm not writing solely to make fun of my brother. Even if it is tempting.  
Recently I've been attempting to be less...anal as Zuko puts it, about my room. He says it's not healthy to stress over cleanliness. Of course, I heavily disagree and it's difficult to even leave a pen out upon my desk,  but I know he's right. Sometimes one must let certain things go. Like pens.  
But at the same time I can't help but feel restless. It's an odd feeling. One I can't quite describe other than if my chest was stuffed with cotton. It's most noticeable when I'm alone or surrounded by a crowd. I guess that feeling has always been there but it's more noticeable now.  
And despite my fever I can't help but find Him in little things. Like my room, or the hallway, or the library, and even the study. It doesn't frighten me as much as it used to but I feel on edge. Part of me thinks I'm overreacting or that some small part of my brain is searching for Him but I don't know. I find I'm less sure of things now more than ever.  
A fraction of myself misses my old identity as fragile as it was because at least I was certain of that identity. Now, I feel like I'm floating. While it's exciting getting to craft the person I get to be it's frightening too. Almost like I can fail before I've even started.  
Truthfully, I don't even know why I'm writing other than I feel the need for company as pathetic as it sounds. Zuko is busy planning his and Mai's wedding and my mother is all caught up in it too. It's like I'm a bystander watching someone else's happiness unfold unsure of how to feel.  
Anyways, I'm rambling now. I hate that I am.  
-Azula.  
With the help of a messenger Hawk the letter was sent on its way. Stepping back from the window, Azula peered down at the ground below. A sense of curiosity and melancholy flickered in her chest but she pushed it aside. Those were old desires not to be dwelled on unless they become dangerous. She knew that now.  
— — —  
In the morning, Azula found the messenger hawk. She hadn't expected such a quick reply but part of her was satisfied that Ty Lee hadn't waited to respond. Stroking the soft feathers of the bird's head, the princess collected the message with a whispered thanks to send the bird on its way.  
Paper tucked in hand, Azula headed to breakfast. Nearly there she realized she'd forgotten to change. Uttering a string of curses she raced back to her room. How she'd forgotten such a simple detail she didn't know. Moving hurriedly about, the princess recollected herself and made the same trek as before.  
Much to her delight, breakfast was already upon the table and beside her empty plate was a carefully folded napkin and a collection of pills. Stomach recoiling, Azula had to remind herself that taking such things were necessary. They helped. Her fever hadn't cured her of her psychological trauma. Not all of it anyway, and despite the side of her that felt weak for taking the dosages prescribed she could practically hear Ty Lee's approval.  
When each pill had been downed, and Azula had collected a small breakfast upon her plate, she sat to read the letter. Ty Lee's excited but elegant scroll had become entirely familiar.  
'Zula,  
It's good to hear from you! Can't say all this jargon isn't boring but Sokka helps keep things entertaining. Well, Toph too, but that's beside the point. Though, I'm pretty sure she's ready to kick everyone's ass in the room.  
As for your confidence in me I can't help but feel flattered. Truthfully, I worried you were being a bit patronizing at first. Especially when you said you believed in me whole heartedly. Suppose that was a wrong assumption on my part.  
Now, on a more serious note. Feeling anxious is something that comes with anxiety. It's not so bad if you take your meds but that doesn't kill the feeling. I wish I could help but I don't know what that's like. Just know that you can vent to me if it helps whether you send the message or not. And when it comes to your father he's never truly going to disappear when you live in the place he's always occupied. That palace has a history that's not easily erased. Sometimes I'm certain all the fire lords are judging us when we wander those halls. I guess that's what makes it such an important aspect of our culture. But if you can maybe identify what makes you think of him you could get rid of it. For instance, I used to have a green ribbon I used for my pet's collar. I had to get rid of it because it reminded me that my turtle duck had run away. I still miss Scuttles.  
Anyways, I think you'll be okay Zula. You just have to trust yourself as hard as that is. You're a good person. You've always been a good person and you just have to believe that whoever you decide to be it's the identity you want. Not the identity you think other people need.  
-Ty  
Leaning back in her seat, Azula read the last line over again. She'd always thought that, but having someone else confirm that she didn't have to be someone for someone else was relieving. There were times she caught herself trying to please people she didn't have to. Having Ty Lee as a form of counsel was more than enough to make the day ahead seem less daunting. She had purging to do and that meant getting rid of her father's identity from the world around her.  
Deciding not to bother her friend again, Azula refrained from writing a reply. She'd burdened Ty Lee enough. There was no need for more of it. Quickly scarfing down her breakfast, Azula traversed the palace with a keen eye. She didn't bother to ask for permission before taking things. This was for her benefit and no one else's. She could give a rat's flaming asshole how they felt about what she planned on doing. Collecting items from her father's journals upon her desk, to the lamp he left on his bedside table, the old blanket on the back of a family chair, and dusty slippers, Azula toted her haul to the training room.  
Piling it up she sorted through the objects and spread them about. She'd been craving target practice anyways. At first, part of her figured destroying these things wasn't a good idea. She could picture the repercussions of her actions, but the more she waited the less likely she was to follow through with the deed. Swallowing tightly, Azula blasted an old notebook into a heap of ash. She didn't stop. She slung fire about until everything he'd touched  was turned to ash.  
Sweat forming a light sheen on her brow, Azula paused to examine one remaining object. She thought she'd gotten everything, but the blue and smoke must have hidden it from sight. Amongst the ash, resided a frame. Inside was an old family picture she hadn't seen before. Curiosity won out, and the princess knelt before the object.  
Her mother was young looking, happy, smiling, and seemingly care free. Her father was also there. He seemed less stoic, less reserved, and more amiable. Zuko was no more than a roll of baby fat in his mother's arms. His chubby cheeks were stretched from his gummy smile.  
Azula wasn't there. They all looked happy without her. Part of her didn't understand why Ozai would keep such a thing. Not when he'd been so clear in his hate for Zuko and his false adoration for her. The idea that he'd hung onto something like this made the princess' chest ache. A section of her conscience screamed at her to burn it. She didn't listen.  
Instead, Azula clambered to her feet and sought out her brother. When she found him he seemed surprised. She didn't wait for him to say anything, simply stick out her hand and let him take the picture. "I found this. I thought you might want it."  
"Oh," Zuko studied the picture with care, a small smile twitching at the edges of his mouth, "thank you."  
"Of course," Azula nodded, her hands pulling lightly at the fabric of her pants in frantic succession.  
"Have you by chance seen father's journals? I needed to look back on a record of his," Zuko glanced back up at his sister expectantly.  
"No," Azula swallowed tightly, "I haven't. But if I do I'll bring them here."  
"Thank you again," Zuko smiled, soaring her a light one armed hug. "I won't keep you."  
Azula gave a tentative smile and fled the room as quickly as possible. She couldn't quiet explain the way her chest seemed to be closing up or why her hands seemed to incessantly be moving, but they didn't matter. She needed to clean up her mess before someone found it and Zuko started asking questions.  
Disposing of the ash was far more difficult than Azula would've guessed. It seemed that no matter how hard she tried He just didn't want to leave. Then again, giving Zuko that picture had been stupid. But he'd seemed genuinely pleased. With a grunt, Azula sat back on her heels. "I can't do this. I can't do this."  
"Azula, there you are! Your brother-"Ursa paused in the doorway of the training room. Her eyes settled on the smeared black across the floor and the shivering form of her daughter.  
"Don't be mad. I'm cleaning it up," Azula promised, setting back to work.  
"Honey," Ursa sighed, approaching her daughter with care and gently prying the soaked rag from her hand. "What're you doing?"  
"I-I," Azula tried to find a way to explain but she wasn't sure how to do so. Then, with a deep sigh, she realized being afraid of her mother was foolish. Steeling her nerves, Azula explained as best as she could what she'd been up to.  
"Okay," Ursa nodded, pursing her lips. She didn't seem pleased but she wasn't mad either. Truthfully, Ursa couldn't be mad at Azula. How could she? If this was how she coped so be it. "You'll need another rag. Wait here."  
"No!" Azula protested, "You don't have to help. I can do it. It's my mess."  
"I don't have too but I want to," Ursa insisted. Azula watched her mother disappear and part of her anxiety eased. She'd been right. There was no reason to be afraid. In fact, she was a bit warmed by the idea of her mother bothering to check on her at all even if it was by accident.  
When Ursa returned, the two girls spent the next hour scrubbing the mats clean. They worked in silence until Ursa broke it, "I won't tell Zuko you smited your father's books."  
"You don't have to lie," Azula whispered, "I can tell him. I lied anyways so I should probably fix that mess before it escalates."  
"Alright," Ursa nodded, helping her daughter up and taking the dirtied rag. "Have you written to Ty Lee lately?"  
"Recently, yes," Azula nodded.  
"How is she? I miss her," Ursa smiled. "Kiyi too."  
"She's alright," Azula assure. "I've tried not to bother her much."  
"Well, if you get the chance will you tell her we say hi?" Ursa asked hopefully.  
"I will," Azula promised.  
"Do you know when she'll be back? It's been a few months hasn't it?"  
"Yes," Azula nodded, "but politics can't be rushed."  
"I suppose not," Ursa laughed. "Well, if I don't see you the rest of the day know I love you. And if you need me I'm just a call away."  
"I know," Azula smiled faintly. Ursa left her daughter to stand in the cleaned training room without a speck of soot in sight. With a nod of approval, Azula left the took behind.


	2. Chapter Two

Azula paced anxiously about. The most recent letter wasn't from Ty Lee but Aang. Why the avatar had written to her she wasn't sure, but from the sound of things Republic City was in jeopardy of a resistance. The earth kingdom was being stubborn and faced a mutiny within its own army. Not to mention the water tribes were far too particular to compromise on anything.   
Though she'd promised to stay out of the mess as a whole, the avatar was requesting her help, and part of her knew it was a last resort. The decision wasn't any easy one either. If she got involved there was a chance people would perceive it as the fire nation sending its princess to strong arm others into submission.   
At the same time, there were people in danger should things go south, and one of those people was a respected member of the Fire Nation. At the end of the day, Azula had her own loyalties that outweighed the loyalties others expected of her. With a muffled groan, Azula replied swiftly to the avatar's message. She'd be on her way at sunrise.   
Packing was easy, there was little to take, and an entire attack force wasn't needed. Azula was hoping that her presence in and of itself would be enough to quell any ideas of resistance. The earth kingdom needed to move on. For their own people's sake as well as the world's. With one nation living in the past no one would benefit. Conflicts were bound to erupt all over again.   
But even as Azula tried to sleep that night, her mind wandered. There were numerous ways things could go wrong and the princess was compelled to analyze them all. She needed to be prepared for anything. So, she spent the night laying quietly awake and when the sun rose she left the palace behind.   
The ship ride was quiet, and Azula found herself oddly calm. She'd prepared. She'd steeled her nerves the night before. She was going to solve the problem one way or another with the least amount of casualties.   
Standing at the helm of the ship, water eventually gave way to the hazy outline of a slowly forming Republic City. The docks were full except for a single reserved spot. Already, Azula could see the news reporters waiting. The thought of having to face them made her stomach twist. She hated reporters. They were a relatively new commodity but boy were they relentless.   
Swallowing tightly, the princess remained poised and collected until the ship docked. The only thing that eased her nerves was the sight of a familiar person waiting expectantly with a gentle smile on their face. Though the acrobat remained still, Azula could tell it was a struggle for the poor girl. Ty Lee had never been one to resist embracing friends with the utmost excitement, but even she was aware of the waiting sharks.   
Meeting her friend on the dock, Azula dropped her voice so only Ty Lee could hear, "The avatar sent for me. Are things really this dire?"  
"Sokka's tried to knock some sense into his fellow water tribe ambassadors but they won't listen," Ty Lee worried, moving to match Azula's slow pace.   
"I didn't expect them to. He's young and seniority is important amongst their community," Azula sighed. "As for you?"  
"Don't get me started," Ty Lee glowered. "I've been patient, but there's no respect. I lack experience despite Sokka's support. Even Toph has interjected more than once on our behalf."  
"You would think that would frighten them." Azula smirked, earning a small giggle from her companion. The sound was a small reprieve from the growing anxiety of feeling a million eyes on her back.  
"Some of them are intimidated and rightfully so," Ty Lee agreed. "Now, let's get going. These people are driving me nuts."   
"Likewise," Azula nodded, vaguely aware of a gentle hand pressed into the small of her back. It was comforting, and the pressure was grounding as she walked away from the docks.   
The two remained silent until the reporters were left behind and small buildings under-construction began to arise.   
"Did you take my advice by chance?" Ty Lee questioned.   
"Yes," Azula nodded, "and I'm grateful you took the time to reply so swiftly to my letter."   
"It was a nice change of pace and it distracted me from my own plights," the acrobat laughed. "But I'm glad I could help."  
"Consider this my returning the favor."  
"I know you wanted to stay out of everything, and I'm sorry Aang asked for you," the acrobat glanced apologetically at her friend.   
"It would've been nice, but I have my own loyalties to the fire nation and you as my friend," Azula smiled faintly. "It'll be fine."   
— — —  
Arriving to the makeshift court building, Azula took the steps in two quick, successive strides. Ty Lee simply hopped to the top with ease. Upon entering, the princess sized up the room.   
It was cramped for the amount of chairs gathered about in a semicircle. There were partitions of color associated with each nation. The seating was approximately twenty for each, though some varied ever so slightly and there were more ornate chairs sprinkled throughout. Azula supposed those were for elders or people of high status.   
In the open space of the semicircle rested a large wooden desk serving as a document recording station and podium. The layout was simple, but divisive. Azula found it somewhat stifling and oppressive.   
"Let's get this show on the road," rang a familiar voice. Azula glanced over her shoulder to see Sokka bounding into the room looking less than enthused. "Glad you brought the cavalry Pinky."   
"Hold your breath, it depends on how the others react," Ty Lee worried.  
"Trust me, no one wants to step on the fire princess' toes," Sokka assured, resting a light hand on the acrobat's shoulder. "All we have to do is get a two thirds vote."   
"What's your current standing?" Azula asked, eyeing the friendly gesture with curiosity.   
"Not even a third," Toph informed, not bothering to be quiet as she entered the building. "We are getting swept and the other political asshats are on their way."   
"Great," Sokka huffed, shoulders slumping comically low.   
"There, there," Toph clapped him roughly on the shoulder.   
"You're not comforting at all!" Sokka pouted.   
Azula had checked out of the conversation by now and stood watching the entrance. As Toph had predicted, others began to trickle inside. They varied in age, appearance, personality, and stature like a bunch of mixed playing cards. Yet, there were some Azula found to be outliers. She kept them in mind.   
But just like her, the newcomers took notice of the fire nation princess and began to study her in return. She was aware of their cold and uncertain gazes, though some seemed genuinely curious or excited.   
One by one each took their seat, and the mediator, was surprisingly the avatar. Part of Azula thought he'd have been removed due to bias, but Air Nomad principles would prevent such a thing. He would be loyal to the debate over his friends. To do otherwise was to jeopardize freedom and peace.   
"Thank you all for coming. Some of you may have taken notice of our esteemed guest," Aang gestures pleasantly in Azula's direction. She was the only one still standing and sorely out of place. "I invited her upon your request. Though, I say it was unnecessary."   
"The current ambassador, with all do respect, lacks experience and frankly the astute intelligence needed for these matters," an old, gruff looking earth bender remarked.   
Aang opened his mouth to reply but Azula stepped in immediately. "For your information, sir, the current ambassador was selected by the most experienced political protege of the Fire Nation: Myself.  By doubting her capabilities you doubt my judgment. I find that rather unwise of you because I do have a reputation."   
The man paled ever so slightly, "It's not that I don't trust your-"  
"Now I wouldn't be here if it wasn't deemed necessary by you all, so while I'm being kept in this room with the lot of you I expect full cooperation," Azula interrupted, moving to stand beside Aang. "I'm not here to strong arm anyone into a decision, but I am here to make sure the majority isn't making a stupid decision."  
"What do you suggest we do?" Sokka asked coyly.   
"First and foremost get rid of this petty layout," Azula gestured flippantly to the dividers. "You want to work together? Don't segregate the debate."   
The room was full of complaints but one by one the decor was removed. With a satisfied nod, Azula turned to Aang who seemed to understand that he could take the lead.   
"Now, I hope you all kept your documents?"  
The shuffling of paper echoed throughout the room as each individual retrieved what was needed. Azula's gaze settled on the acrobat once more. "Ty Lee, I trust you to handle the Fire Nation Financial Proposal."  
"Of course," Ty Lee nodded, shifting in her seat. The rest of the fire nation ambassadors seemed fine with the idea. If anything, they figured the best friend of the princess would know the bill she'd constructed far more than the rest of them.   
"In that case, Ty Lee, you have the floor," Aang smiled. Taking a step back he occupied the seat before a pile of written records. Standing with a grace practically irreplaceable, Ty Lee took her spot on the floor. She studied the crowd of angered individuals until she caught the pensive gaze of Azula.   
Those golden eyes had remained the same but changed so much over the years. They'd always been expressive, but Ty Lee could see more emotion in them now than ever before. When words failed, Azula's eyes would speak for her if she wanted them to. It was then, when the acrobat studied those golden eyes, that she saw an expression of belief, confidence, and mild curiosity.   
"All of you have studied the proposed financial plan. At least, I hope so," Ty Lee started. She dove quickly into the issues at hand regarding the breakdown of money distribution. The fire nation was willing to contribute a large sum of money to Republic City's developing infrastructure only if a portion of later proceeds were returned. Like all nations, they were rebuilding things of their own and coughing up so much money was a risk. However, both Zuko and Azula saw hope in the development of the city and were willing to risk a potentially massive loss.   
"Why can't you simply contribute the funding with no catch? The rest of us are in far worse shape than your nation," speculated a water tribe man.   
"Sir, we are hurting too. The war didn't just decimate your own homeland. Portions of ours were neglected, turned into nothing but wastelands for the sake of our victory. We lost countless lives in mines and more. How else did we get the power for our ships?" Ty Lee arched a brow. "There's a misconception that the entire population beneath Ozai's rule supported the war but that's wrong. Many of us were just as afraid as the rest of you and we faced death if we resisted. Even the royal family suffered at his hands. The world did. So yes, we need some small reimbursement. Because by doing this we postpone the safety of our own people. We risk putting off needed infrastructure changes to homes, government buildings, and more. We can't provide care at the basic level if this falls through."  
"Why do you want to be the sacrificial lamb now? Why after all this time is your nation willing to risk life and limb for the rest of us?" Demanded a young earth bender.    
"Because I finally have the ability to attempt fixing my mistakes," Azula interrupted causing all eyes to fall back on her. "My people have come to terms with who I am and what I did. It's time the rest of you did too."   
"The pity card won't work!" Came an agitated cry.   
The section of fire nation ambassadors bristled at the disrespect. They'd heard plenty of the princess' troubled past. They understood she wasn't easy to forgive, or that it erased what she'd done, but they saw her for who she was even after the trauma she'd faced. Even after the pain and manipulation she'd faced.   
"I don't want your pity. I've never asked for pity," Azula spoke calmly, but there was a slight waver to her tone. "I am attempting to help now but if you refuse my offer in this moment, I won't agree to it later should you change your minds in the future."  
"What makes you stable enough to be here?"   
"I assure you I am," Azula scowled. "If I wasn't, this place would be in ruins already. I find the ignorance overwhelmingly angering. Not to mention that we are here to discuss the fate of our world and not my past or my mental health. I have been an open book to all, and anyone in my nation can attest to that. In helping them understand me I can understand myself, but I am not a pushover. I can and will stand my ground in the name of my ancestors!"  
The room fell quiet for a moment and Ty Lee could see the doubt seeping into Azula's expression. Doubt she used to mask with ease, but as the world continued to reject her and shove her back into the cage she'd finally left it was becoming common to see such defeat.   
She tried to give some indication that she was on Azula's side, but even if the princess knew that- it didn't matter. Ty Lee was a friend which made her opinion biased. Thankfully, Aang intervened.   
"I agree. This isn't a discussion of the past. It's a discussion of the future," Aang frowned in mild disappointment. "We need to assess this practically without bias from our pasts."  
The day unfolded slowly, and Azula paid attention when needed, but for the most part she was unneeded. At one point, she was aware of Ty Lee taking the empty seat beside her and taking her hand with care. It was a silent gesture of solidarity and comfort. One Azula was great full for.   
When the voting came it was by anonymous ballot. Aang spent some time counting and keeping score until he managed to organize the decision. It was a close call, by two votes precisely, but the financial plan would go through.   
Azula knew it only succeeded because of the younger generation in the room. Even now she was vaguely in tune with their bright eyes and hopeful looks. They believed in a better future for the world and for everyone. It was refreshing to see, and it was strange because most of these individuals were Azula's age or slightly older. Yet there they were looking up to her. It was a strange feeling.   
"Come on," Ty Lee stood, tugging lightly at the princess' hand. "It's over now. We can get out of this place."   
Azula nodded and allowed herself to be pulled to her feet. She kept hold of the acrobat's hand to avoid getting lost in the crowd. Already, the proximity of so many people trying to cram through a small doorway was making it hard to breath. She felt restricted, stifled, and hot. Very hot.   
Getting outside was difficult but once there, Azula took in a sharp breathe. The fresh air was a relief, and her grip relaxed on Ty Lee's hand. Her vision steadied ever so slightly and she was able to take in the outside world. Just like before, reporters waited with hungry expressions. Again, Azula found it hard to breathe.   
"Stay close," Ty Lee muttered, wrapping an arm snugly about Azula's waist and guiding her through the mass of people. Part of Azula felt foolish for seeming so dependent but the other part of her was just desperate to get out of the situation.   
"Can we go to the ship?" Azula asked, voice wavering with something like fear.   
"Yeah," the acrobat nodded.   
After avoiding much notice, the duo arrived back at the docks. There. Azula relaxed. "Thank you for sticking up for me."   
Azula simply nodded. She wanted to thank Ty Lee too but the words didn't come. Her throat was still dry and tight. But the acrobat must have read her expression because she replied with a gentle 'you're welcome.'   
Giving a hesitant smile that was no more than a twitch of the lips, Azula took the lead onto the ship as Ty Lee followed. The atmosphere was much calmer than the type writers going into a frenzy far behind them.


	3. Chapter Three

The two girls spent the rest of the evening tucked away in Azula's cabin. The princess had no intention of stepping outside so long as the events of the morning were fresh in reporter's minds. That was fine though, she enjoyed playing Pai Sho with the acrobat and learning about her time in republic city.   
"It's definitely a different atmosphere. It's familiar in some ways but I feel very aloof," Ty Lee explained, moving one of her pieces after a long moment of contemplation.   
"Is it the people?" Azula asked.   
"Yes," Ty Lee nodded. "Many of them are friendly and kind. But the older benders and none benders are callous. They do things to spite their own people simply because they want to move on. Because they want a better future. It's stupid if you ask me."  
"It must be hard for them," Azula sighed, shifting a piece of her own. "They only knew the world my father and grandfather created. Now, everything that was has been turned upside down. Even if they aren't conscious of their biases, fifty years of collective thinking is hard to re wire."   
"But they could at least try," the acrobat frowned. "Some of them are and I'm patient with them. I can tell they want to change but they're afraid too. It's just that so many of them would rather hate than adapt. That's what made the war so horrible in the first place."   
"You're right," Azula agreed, "but in time our generation will replace what they knew with what is present. And if anyone can show those stuck in the past how to move on it's you. Don't think I'm not aware how many people still distrust the fire nation. But people trust you and you represent us. There's a reason I wanted you to have this position and not myself. You can shape things in ways I can't."   
"You give yourself too little credit," Ty Lee blushed, growing bashful at the compliment.   
"No, I'm giving you enough credit. People overlook you. It isn't fair nor is it right. You're smart, and your intelligence is unique," Azula insisted. "It's a shame others don't see that."   
Smiling to herself, Ty Lee moved another piece, and their game continued on in silence. Azula won, as usual, but Ty Lee never minded.   
"You're getting better," the princess noted.   
"I played with Aang when I could. He's surprisingly good." Ty Lee grinned. "Sokka is horrible though. Took is blind and she does better than he does."  
"That reminds me," Azula smiled faintly, "are you and Sokka close?"  
"He took me under his wing, offered me a place to stay. I would have stayed with Aang and Katara but Sokka insisted that was a poor idea considering those two had a ton of business to attend to. He's funny and I think we get along," Ty Lee shrugged.  
"I see," Azula nodded. "I thought you would. Is he still in contact with his girlfriend?"  
"Suki? Yeah, but it's been difficult. He says it's harder to stay in touch now that republic city is really taking off. I'm not sure how much longer they'll last. I hope they work it out though. They made each other really happy," Ty Lee sighed, frowning in worry. "But maybe he can focus on staying in touch with her a bit more now that you're here. I won't be so much of a bother if I'm showing you around!"  
"I don't know how long I'm staying," Azula admitted. "But I suppose a day or two can't hurt."   
"Perfect!" The acrobat beamed. "You'll love it I promise."   
"I'm sure I will," Azula laughed lightly. "Now it's late and I'm tired. Do you want to stay here or should I escort you back to Sokka's?"  
"I'll stay here," Ty Lee decided.  
"Alright," Azula nodded, cleaning up their game and setting it aside. She didn't expect Ty Lee to make herself comfortable in the small bed. The last time they'd slept together it had ended horribly. Part of Azula worried, but he logical part of her knew it was a senseless worry. She was a different person now and there were no knives under her pillows.   
Climbing beneath the sheets with care, Azula rolled onto her side and noticed that Ty Lee was already sound asleep. The image of the acrobat sleeping with her mouth partially open, one arm draped above her head, and one leg sticking out of the sheets nearly made Azula laugh. Sometimes she forgot how quickly the acrobat could just turn off her brain. She supposed that after a full day of none stop thinking and talking it would be easy to shut down.   
"Goodnight Ty Lee," Azula hummed, closing her eyes and letting darkness slip over her mind.  
— — —  
"Reporters are fast," Sokka winced, holding up the newspaper whose front image was something neither Azula nor Ty Lee expected. It was a picture of yesterday, the two had just made it out of the make shift court room and Azula's hand was still in the acrobat's grasp. The headline wasn't about the new financial decision but SECRET FIRE NATION ROMANCE? MORE LIKELY THAN YOU THINK.   
"That's not even fair!" Ty Lee grumbled. "Azula gets anxious in crowds. I was just trying to make sure she stuck by me."   
"You don't have to tell me," Sokka insisted, holding his hands up in defense. "You should have seen the headline they had about me two months ago."   
"What was it?" Azula asked, her curiosity getting the best of her.   
"Water tribe councilman caught fawning over the avatar. Does his sister know?" Sokka mocked, arching his hands in the air as if making an invisible headline.   
"That's the dumbest thing I think I've ever heard," Azula replied, her expression flat.   
"Exactly," Sokka snickered, "so I wouldn't take this to heart too much. If it makes you feel better they also accused Toph of not actually being blind."   
"You're kidding," Ty Lee frowned, "right?"  
"Absolutely not. But thank the spirits she can't read because I tell you that newsroom would be so deep in the ground they'd pop out the other side of the earth," Sokka grinned.   
"Well, I appreciate you bringing this to our attention," Azula sighed, passing back the newspaper.   
"Of course. Oh! And Katara is insisting on all of us having dinner together. Ty knows where they live so if you want to go you can, but I know you and my sister don't particularly get along," Sokka laughed nervously.   
"I'll think about it," Azula promised.   
With that, Sokka went on his way, and the two fire nation girls set off towards the inner portions of the developing city.   
Here, it was clear that some of the more long term residents had made themselves at home. Stalls and a small market were set up allowing shopkeepers to call the attention of workers as they passed by, kids roamed about in clusters of twos and threes, and even pets scampered across the fairly crowded streets.   
"You have to meet Piper," Ty Lee smiled, dragging Azula over to a single stall where a little girl missing both of her front teeth sat looking at a rock with care. "Watcha got there Piper?"   
"A geode," the girl replied, "and I'm trying to determine where I ought to crack it open."   
"She's incredibly precise. It's impressive," Ty Lee bragged.   
"What do you have with you?" Piper countered, momentarily looking away to study Azula.  
"A good old friend of mine," Ty Lee smiled, wrapping an arm about Azula's shoulders. "She's never been to the city before so I thought I'd show her around."   
"Neat-o," Piper smiled. "Watch this."   
Picking up a small chisel and hammer, the little girl settled the stone carefully upon a wooden plank with a spherical hole cut out of it. The rock rested perfectly in the little nest and after one hard tap, the stone split perfectly in half revealing the crystallized insides.   
"Impressive," Azula mused, "how did you learn to make the perfect cut?"  
"Well, I was always good at breaking things so my parents said I ought to put it to use. Then I starts breaking rocks in half and people like when things are perfect so I started selling them. They make good gifts," Piper explained. "You can have this one if you want. It's blue on the inside."   
"You don't have-"  
"Well it's too late because I'm already giving it to you," Piper interrupted handing over the broken stone excitedly.   
"I see why you like her," Azula mused, as Ty Lee took the rock from Azula to examine it.   
"Oh hush," the acrobat pouted. "Well Piper, have a good day. We have more exploring to do."   
"Have a good day too and watch out for stinky old Linnaeus. He's off his rocker again," Piper's nose wrinkled up in disgust.   
"Linnaeus?" Azula asked as she followed Ty Lee once more.   
"Old man handing out pamphlets encouraging people to dissolve the city and abandon unity. He calls himself a person interested in human nature but I find him quite pessimistic. He thinks all people are inherently bad," Ty Lee explained.  
"We have the potential to be but that doesn't make it so," Azula agreed, earning a smile from the acrobat.   
"That's the spirit," Ty Lee laughed. "Now, how about we head over to one of my favorite places for lunch?"  
"I can't argue can I? I know nothing of the city," Azula smiled slightly.  
"Fair enough," Ty Lee shrugged, skipping ahead as Azula followed closely behind. To the princess it seemed like little had changed. Sure, Ty Lee's position was one of importance but that clearly didn't eliminate the fun loving side she possessed. It was refreshing to see, and frankly Azula didn't want anything different. Let other people think Ty Lee was a little goofy. Who cared? Forcing her to change would be cruel, and Azula wasn't having any of it. If others were throw off by the acrobat's personality it'd only make political gains that much easier to acquire.   
Shaking her head, and thus shaking away her thoughts, Azula finally matched Ty Lee's stride as they rounded a corner and crossed the street. The place Ty Lee loved so much was a small little niche in a wall so to speak, but the homely nature of the place was comforting.   
"If it isn't our favorite person," boomed a large man wearing a white stained apron. "And you brought a guest. An esteemed one too!"  
"Azula this is Min, Min this is my friend Azula," Ty Lee smiled, introducing the two.   
"No introductions needed. I know royalty when I see it. Come sit," Min grinned, shooing then towards a small table. Aside from a handful of other people, the place was relatively empty.   
"He seems like a nice gentleman," Azula noted, taking the seat where her back was facing a wall. She'd be lying if she said it didn't make her uncomfortable not being able to see everything in front of her. Let alone leaving her back exposed.   
"Oh he is. He tells the funniest stories too. Most are about his cousin," Ty Lee laughed. "He said that his cousin sneezed so hard once, a noodle came out of his nose."   
"That's...interesting," Azula murmured, her nose wrinkling in slight disgust.  
"Oh it gets better," Ty Lee smirked, "because this was at a wedding. Can you imagine how embarrassing that would be?"  
"Well, I'm sure he's flattered Min is telling all sorts of folk about it," Azula joked.   
"Eh, he probably doesn't know," Ty Lee said, waving a hand flippantly in the air.   
"So, what will it be young ladies?" Min asked, stepping up to their table.   
"Same as always," Ty Lee smiled warmly. "And whatever you think she'll like best."   
"Oh, I know just the thing," Min assured, turning to leave when he paused. "I almost forgot. Today's riddle is 'A man had a bar of lead that weighed 40 lbs., and he divided it into four pieces in such a way as to allow him to weigh any number of pounds from one to forty. What are the weights of the four pieces?"  
Ty Lee blinked in confusion. Normally she wasn't too bad at the riddles Min gave, but this one she couldn't do in her head. If anything, she'd need a good hour or so to work it out on paper.   
"One, Three, Nine, and Twenty Seven," Azula replied. Min's eyes widened in surprise.   
"Well, you're the first to get it today. Brilliant. How did you do it so quickly?" He wondered, momentarily forgetting his job.   
"One is necessary. If you can't weigh one pound the riddle already fails. If you use a two sided scale. You can weigh two pound by placing a one pound weight on one side and the three pound weight on the other. From there it's a math game that I won't bore you with," Azula explained, bashfully looking away as Min's disbelief only grew.   
"Bring her more often," He chuckled, patting Ty Lee on the shoulder, "she's entertaining."   
"I'll try," the acrobat laughed.   
As Min left to handle his business, Azula cleared her throat and studied the table top with care. "So, is he always so impressed by people?"  
"Yes, but I've never seen him so excited. It's adorable. You really impressed him," Ty Lee grinned. "Not everyone is so smart or quick at math. I'd have taken forever and needed multiple sheets of paper."   
"It's all in the way you think of things. That's all," Azula mumbled, finding the attention a bit overwhelming. She wasn't used to this sort of atmosphere where people seemed to make a point of emphasizing all she did.   
"Hey," Ty Lee frowned, "are you okay?"  
"Fine," Azula breathed, "just not used to all of this. That's all. People used to pay attention to me before but it always felt sort of...dissociated. Now it's like that barrier is gone and it's a bit overwhelming."   
"Well, if you want I can tell Min-"  
"No, it's fine." Azula insisted, suddenly making eye contact. She didn't want to ruin the day for Ty Lee. Not when she'd been so excited to show Azula around. "I'll adapt."   
— — —  
The food was good, and Min made great company. He was a cheerful person who talked to all of his customers as if he'd known them his whole life. Azula could only imagine how many hours he and Ty Lee had spent talking about senseless things all over a bowl of warm food.   
The princess made sure to pay him generously though he insisted it wasn't necessary, but if she was going to pay anyone more than need be it would be a good man who deserved it. Though the food has mellowed Ty Lee's mood, she still walked with a small bounce to her step as they traversed the streets. The lights framing the sidewalks began to flicker on as the evening sun slowly set. Azula hadn't thought they'd spent so much time at Min's, but apparently they had.  
"Oh gosh," Ty Lee sighed.   
"What is it?" Azula asked, following the acrobat's worried gaze.   
"They're back at it again looking for stories," Ty Lee grumbled, trying to switch directions before any of the news reporters caught sight of them. Unfortunately, they weren't so lucky.   
Like moths to a flame, the news folk flocked about the two in a flurry. Azula was mildly aware of the jostling amongst them but she was bombarded by loud questions and a flashing camera set dots dancing in her line of sight.   
"Do you have any comments on the headline?"  
Azula barely managed to utter, 'what?' before a new question shot into the air.   
"How does the fire lord feel about this development?"  
"Any comments?"  
"Guys," Ty Lee frowned, "come on, really? I'd be happy to explain if you stopped yelling-"  
Still, the chorus of voices didn't stop, and Azula was finding it hard to breathe. She could barely see as every camera flash reset her eyes despite them having adjusted, and her brain couldn't process all of the sensory information coming in at once. She was vaguely aware of her hands shaking quite violently, and grasping desperately for the acrobat's hand in a silent plea for help.   
Instinctively, Ty Lee drew Azula closer so their shoulders were touching. She wasn't sure what to do, but she knew none of these idiots were going to give up easily.   
"I can't be here. If they do something I won't be able to stop myself...," Azula whispered, another bright flash destroying her train of thought. All it took was something to trigger her subconscious and a reporter would be on fire.   
"Hey!" A loud voice momentarily broke the onslaught of questions. Ty Lee glanced over her shoulder to find Toph strolling down the street with a nice sizable stick in hand.  Why? Ty Lee didn't know, but the sight of the earthbender was enough to make the crowd of reporters nervous. "Leave the nice ladies alone and get out of here. You bunch of idiots can fabricate another storyline alright?"  
"But-"  
"Blah blah blah," Toph mocked. "Princess has anxiety dumb fucks. Her friend here is just trying to make sure she doesn't incinerate you on accident. But, if you wanna die, keep doing what you're doing cause you're only making things worse. Frankly, I'd love to see one of you go 'poof.'"  
"You're bli-"  
"Don't day it!" Toph snapped. "It's a figure of speech. Now go before I set you on fire without any firebending."  
The crowd grudgingly dispersed.   
"Thanks Toph," Ty Lee sighed. "How'd you know about the newspaper?"  
"Sokka told me," she shrugged. "Katara's working on reigning these bone heads in. Aang too. It's disturbing the peace."  
"What's the stick for?" Ty Lee asked.  
"Sometimes I don't feel like bending so I whack them instead," Toph grinned. "Welp, off to Twinkletoes' place. Follow if you'd like."   
Without looking back, Toph continued on her way occasionally whacking the stick against a wall for fun.   
"You okay?" Ty Lee asked, finally able to look at Azula without being blinded.  
"Yes," the princess nodded. "You go on with Toph. I'll find my way back to the ship."   
"No," Ty Lee worried, catching Azula by the arm. "If you don't want to go I'll stay with you. It's not a hassle I promise. I'm sorry you got roped into all of that-"  
"It's not your fault," Azula interrupted.   
"I know," Ty Lee continued, "but I didn't want you to have to worry about other people while you were here. At least for today. And I ruined that by taking you around the city. I'm sorry."   
"I'll be fine," Azula insisted, giving the acrobat's hand a squeeze, "go."   
Ty Lee lingered for a moment before running after the disappearing earth bender. Azula watched her for a moment before crossing the street and setting off back towards the harbor.   
It wasn't that she was trying to shut Ty Lee out, she just needed to be alone with her thoughts. Because as much as she'd hoped the rest of the world hadn't adopted the fire nation's mindset, it had. There were things that should and shouldn't be done. One of those things was holding hands with people you weren't supposed to.   
Azula remembered all too clearly the blistered hands of fire nation offenders. It made her skin crawl and she found herself clutching her own hand to her chest as if she'd burned it. Part of her knew things weren't quite the same as they used to be, but no matter how much she began to feel welcome in the world again, she was reminded that it was a lie. There were things about her that people would not and could not forgive. But it left a sour taste in her mouth because they could forgive her war crimes, they could forgive what she'd done to people, to nations, but they could not forgive something she never had a choice in. Something even her father couldn't instill in her.   
The thought was crippling, and she fought back tears for the first time in a while. There were times she was reminded that the world was not fair, that it had never been fair, and that it had never loved her enough to try and be fair.


	4. Chapter Four

"Those reporters, they-I can't-ugh!" Katara lamented, looking like she wanted to pull her hair out. "Listen. I don't say I hate people on a whim, but I hate them. With a burning passion."   
"Calm down," Aang laughed, kissing her lightly on the cheek. "We all find their work...annoying."   
"Understatement!" Toph interjected, "it fucking sucks."   
"Someone has to clean up their potty mouth!" Sokka gasped, earning a smack to the back of the head.   
"Did Azula not want to come?" Aang asked, ignoring the two bickering friends.   
"She got a little overwhelmed. I don't think it's anything to do with you. She just, she still has a lot going on," Ty Lee explained, offering up a sad smile.   
"I understand," Aang nodded. "But I'm glad you came. Sokka can have another person to pity laugh at his jokes."   
"I heard that!" Sokka scoffed.   
"Do you think the newspaper is getting to her?" Katara asked, shooting her brother an irritated look. "I didn't think she'd be that sensitive to it."   
"No, no it's not that," Ty Lee assured. "It just reminds her of things her father did. I mean, if Ozai ever saw an article like that whether it's a lie or not? He'd scar people's hands and the whole nation would know what their 'sin' was. That's even if people got off easy. I think it just brings back memories she'd rather not have. Because despite being his daughter he'd had done the same to her. If he could burn Zuko like that? What would stop him from doing the same to her?"  
"I understand that," Katara nodded. "I won't pretend to know all that that man ingrained in her head. I don't think anyone will know all of it."  
"Probably not," Ty Lee sighed, "but it can't make life easy can it?"   
"No," Aang agreed solemnly. "But the best thing to do is give her space."  
"You know that worries me," Ty Lee frowned.   
"She's better than she was before," Aang reminded. "It would take a lot to set her back."   
"In this city anything is possible," the acrobat mumbled.   
"Okay, where's the dinner? I'm starving," Sokka whined, slumping over on the table like a disappointed child.   
"You're needy," Toph frowned, giving him a rather disgusted look.   
"So what?" Sokka demanded.   
"So stop acting like a big baby."  
"I agree with Toph on this one," Katara smirked, "you are a big baby."  
— — —  
Ty Lee hadn't expected it to rain. Hadn't expected a large thunderstorm to come tearing through the city and send her leaving dinner early with a half baked excuse.   
Shielding her eyes from the onslaught of rain, she set off at a run towards the harbor. Azula would be alone on the ship and she could only imagine what kind of fear the princess was experiencing.   
Soaked to the bone in a handful of seconds, and feeling numb, Ty Lee slipped on the stone covered street only to recollect herself and press on. Not a single soul was out and about besides herself. Everyone else was wise enough to be inside. But when a loud crack of thunder sent her teeth vibrating and a lightning strike landed not too far away, she knew she was making the right decision.   
Finally reaching the dock, she clambered aboard Azula's ship and nearly slipped down the stairs leading below deck. Azula wouldn't be up top in her cabin. She'd be in the part of the ship that kept her farthest from the storm.   
Sure enough, Ty Lee found her in the belly of the ship, sitting with her back up against the metal frame beside a small heater, looking tired and worn with a semi glazed look over her eyes. At least here she couldn't see the lightning. At least here the storm wasn't quite real.   
"Azula?" Ty Lee asked, approaching cautiously. The princess blinked for a moment before looking at the acrobat sadly.   
"You're soaked," Azula noted.  
"Well yeah, it's raining," Ty Lee laughed lightly.   
"You didn't need to leave. I'm alright. I can take care of myself," Azula sighed, drawing her knees up to her chest. "I've managed on my own since you left."   
"I just worried. Last time...last time you needed me. I didn't know you were getting better at managing this," Ty Lee admitted, shivering as the cold began to creep in even more. "I'm sorry if you feel that I've made you seem entirely dependent on me."  
"You're freezing," Azula noted, seeming not to hear the acrobat's words. "Come here."   
Ty Lee said nothing as she shuffled towards the princess. Azula gestured for her to sit, and Ty Lee did. Then, with care, Azula set her hands ablaze and held them out so the backs of her hands were settled on Ty Lee's knees. The heat radiating from them made the water clinging to Ty Lee's clothes hiss.   
As the acrobat stopped shivering, and her teeth stopped chattering, Azula dimmed the flames. But Ty Lee noticed something in the princess' expression that worried her. "Azula, what's wrong? Please don't say it's fine. I can tell it's not. Your eyes give it away."   
The princess was trying to disconnect herself from something. She seemed to be looking past everything as a defense mechanism. If she could not truly register what was happening then how could it truly exist?  
"I am coming to terms with something," Azula spoke slowly, choosing her words carefully.   
"Which is?"   
"That I am not meant to be more than a facet of success for other people." Azula's words hung heavy in the air.   
"Azula, that's not true-"  
"How? It was my father first. It was the nation second. Now it's this city and its reporters. I can't keep lying to myself and saying that someone else will be different. I did it with my father, I did it with everyone and it got me to a point I barely returned from. I don't want to go back to that. I would rather feel empty than feel how I did back then." The princess' expression was fierce, but Ty Lee sensed there was something else to the story. Something she was afraid to say.   
"It's me isn't it?" Though Azula said nothing, her reaction was an answer none the less. "Azula, I'm sorry that every time I'm around you bad things happen. You think I don't notice it? I've lived a lot of my life afraid that one day you will cut me out of your life or destroy me because of it. Please don't tell me that day is today. I don't know why it happens but-"  
"You don't get it do you?" Azula asked, eyes glittering with tears. "You don't get how much I hate you."  
The acrobat's heart sank. She wanted to say something, anything, but all she managed was, "Azula-"  
"But I can never hate you more then I love you." Azula's words were bitter and full of venom. Her gaze was locked on a shadow not far from them. "Bad things happen when I'm with you because I can't hate you enough to shut you out. Everyone gets to see me as you do because when you're here, nothing is bad enough for me to be closed off. Nothing. And I hate that everyone else gets to see me. I hate it. And I could just-I could just hurt someone I'm so angry."   
"Hey," Ty Lee spoke gently, "hey...look at me."   
Azula grudgingly obeyed. "Ty-"  
"Why does that make you angry? Why would you want to be someone different to other people when you've worked so hard to get where you are now?" The acrobat didn't expect Azula to reply so soon.   
"Because they have done nothing for me but make my life insufferable and they do not deserve to see the person you helped me be. Not the person Zuko helped me be. Not the person Mai helped me be. They deserve to see someone angry, someone who hates them, someone who wants to make sure they understand what they did to me. That's what they deserve! Because they didn't help me. They didn't. They didn't..." Azula cried, her frame shaking with pent up anger.   
She had held onto the sentiment for impossibly long. If the world was unfair to her she had a right to be unfair back. She had a right to not let those people who hurt her see who she really was. They did not get to understand her, they did not get to feel like what they did hadn't hurt her. Because if they saw her now they would forget the girl they once made her, and Azula didn't want them to forget. She wanted them to be haunted by the fact that they had torn a child apart and watched her die. That people were doing it all over again because they got to see her as Ty Lee did. Because they forgot she could be hurt. That she was human.   
"Have you been holding this anger in all this time?" Ty Lee asked, pulling Azula into a tight hug.   
"They don't deserve it," Azula cried. "They don't get to forget. I can't forget so how can they? How can they forget what they did?"  
"I don't know," Ty Lee admitted. "I don't know."   
"And wh-why do I hate you?" Azula sobbed.   
"Because you love me," Ty Lee whispered.   
"I can't," Azula choked out. "I can't."  
"Then if you can't love me, hate me. At least I know they're the same," Ty Lee smiled faintly. She was careful to brush away the princess' tears. She was careful to tuck Azula's hair behind her ears. She was careful when she kissed the princess and felt those tear stained lips kiss back full of hate. And she saw the anger in those gold eyes and knew she was right. Azula hated her with the fury of a thousand suns. Had hated her for years, for her whole life, and had hated her because she loved her.   
It made sense to Ty Lee now. Why Azula was so harsh with her, why she was so callous, and why she spent so long resisting the acrobat's help. Because all that hate, every ounce of it, was a hidden love so poisonous it made her very bones ache at the thought of acting on it. And how else could Azula exhibit love but through hate? How else would her father approve of it. How else could she stand herself? How? How, how, how?  
"I understand now," Ty Lee whispered, pulling back to study Azula's face. "All this time...all of that anger in your heart was for me. But why-why didn't you tell me? I wouldn't have told your father."   
"How would that be fair?" Azula asked, her tone slightly cold. "To either of us? How could I look you in the eye and say I loved you and throw you away the moment my father asked? How could I destroy you?"   
"When you weren't well, all that time I was with you...was it your father telling you he knew you loved me?" Ty Lee asked, worry seeping into her voice. "You were afraid weren't you?"  
"You never knew the things he had me watch, the things he did and said - when people loved someone they shouldn't." Azula muttered. "I only told you what you could bear. If he ever knew how I felt my life would end and he would see Zuko as a Saint in my wake."   
"I could've protected you," Ty Lee insisted, her own throat growing tight with emotion.   
"That's just it Ty Lee, you should never have to protect a friend from their own parents. And I couldn't burden you with that." Azula explained, settling her head on the acrobat's shoulder. The storm had been forgotten.   
"Why tell me now?" Ty Lee asked. "After all this time? When you knew I loved you."   
"Because I've never had a reason to," Azula admitted. "But then I recalled that every time I'm ever afraid I find safety in you. And I've never felt safe enough to tell anyone before. Not even Zuko. Ironically, the only person I feel safe with is you."   
"I'm glad you do," Ty Lee smiled gently. "But the papers will only grow worse-"  
"They won't know," Azula insisted. "No one will. Not yet anyways."  
"Does that mean I can call you my girlfriend?" Ty Lee asked nervously.  
"Mmm," Azula nodded. She never thought she'd hear that word come from Ty Lee's mouth. But now that it had it almost made her weep with relief and joy. "In private anyways."   
"Well then," Ty Lee cleared her throat, "I would like to tell my girlfriend that I'm proud of her for finally recognizing her feelings. Even if it's hate. Even if it's love. Even if it's complete apathy. I'm proud of you. I really am. You're not the same girl who bottled everything up anymore. It may be hard to express things, but you try and I can't tell you how thankful I am that you do. It lets me know when you need me. When I can help bring you comfort."   
"I don't think I can hate you anymore," Azula sighed. "Not after all of this. Not now. I did once upon a time, and I did for a moment just now, but once again you make me forget the worst parts of myself."   
"I love all of the bad parts and all of the good parts. I always have," Ty Lee laughed. "Now come on. We should rest."   
Together, the two made their way back to Azula's quarters, where instead of keeping their distance the two made a point of snuggling up close. Azula couldn't help but let out a heavy sigh. She had never realized how much she craved physical affection. That it was so bad even being held by someone she cared for made her chest ache and her eyes sting all over again.   
"What is it?" Ty Lee asked, sensing Azula's shift in aura.  
"I can't remember the last time I've been held like this. The last time I've let someone do it and not felt guilty," the princess whispered.   
"Well, get used to it. I'll hold you every night," Ty Lee promised.   
"You say that but you have to stay here until Zuko says you can return home," Azula mumbled. All of the crying had made her tired. She didn't even register the thunder or lightning.   
"Then annoy him until he lets me," Ty Lee teased, letting her thumb run over Azula's cheek, but the princess was already asleep. And for the first time in a while since she'd been sick, Azula looked happy and at peace.


	5. Chapter Five

(A/N not edited yet)  
Azula woke slowly, taking in her surroundings with care and attempting to determine what exactly was weighing her down. She discovered that in Ty Lee's sleep, the acrobat had slung a leg over her, and arm, and settled her head upon Azula's chest. The situation was amusing to say the least, and the princess found herself brushing the acrobat's bangs aside.   
Ty Lee's nose wrinkled as a strand of hair tickled her face and she woke with a groan. "Is it morning already?"  
"Yes," Azula replied, her hand retreating from the acrobat's face.   
"Ugh," Ty Lee frowned, grudgingly untangling herself from the princess. "I have things to do."  
"I'm sorry," Azula apologized, though she wasn't sure why.   
"It's fine," the acrobat sighed. "Do you go home today?"   
"I was planning on it," Azula admitted, "but I could stay-"  
"Don't bother. I'll be too busy for anything fun and Zuko needs help planning his wedding," Ty Lee smiled faintly. "You can write to me and tell me all about it. I'll use it as an excuse to avoid work I don't want to do."  
"And here I thought you liked your job," Azula mused, earning an airy laugh in reply.   
"I do," Ty Lee grinned, "promise."  
Azula nodded and closed her eyes, feeling the faint fog of sleep call to her again. She felt a hand ghost across her cheek and a light breathe of air before two soft lips pressed against hers. Her instinct was to retreat. Eyes opening wide she realized what she'd done. "Sorry, I-"  
"It's okay," Ty Lee assured.   
"My mind still tells me...things." Azula explained, her brow creasing in worry.   
"I know," the acrobat sighed, resting her forehead against the princess'. "It'll take time. For me too. I'm still...uncertain of things and a bit afraid if I'm honest."  
"Why are you afraid?" Azula worried, her eyes revealing an intense concern.   
"Well, my father and mother won't approve. Then there's the fact that I'll return home at some point too. Our nation isn't all perfect you know. There's still people who hate what we've done with it. I just...there's a lot of unknowns. That's all. I used to be able to escape things. Join the circus, roam the wilderness, come and go as I pleased, but now it feels like there's no l safe place to retreat to anymore," Ty Lee explained.   
"I'll protect you," Azula insisted. She wasn't sure why the words came out as forcefully as they did, but her chest hurt at the idea of someone belittling the acrobat or wounding her. Azula had spent so much of her life fighting to keep Ty Lee at a distance and now that she'd slowly closed that divide her feelings were becoming clear. She'd always meant to protect Ty Lee. It was why she'd chosen to hate the acrobat instead of love her. Why she'd endured all that she had from her father and herself.   
"I know you will," Ty Lee smiled, "but I'll still worry for you."   
"You don't have to. I'll be fine," Azula assured, but they both knew she couldn't promise such a thing. "Now, go before you miss whatever it is you must attend to."  
"Write to me," Ty Lee emphasized, kissing Azula on the brow, clambering out of bed, swiftly pulling on her shoes, and scampering off in a flash of pink.   
Though the room was small it seemed colder now than before. Azula never realized how warm Ty Lee was, and now she missed it. Swallowing the thought of abandoning her acrobat in a city she didn't know, Azula woke the helmsman and small crew. They were to depart in half an hour's time.  
While Ty Lee seemed comfortable in Republic City, Azula couldn't help but feel that it was ripe for the picking of ill intentioned individuals. In a fragile state of infancy, budding cities were in danger of falling into the hands of criminals. Hopefully, under the avatar's care such a thing wouldn't happen.  
Keeping her thoughts to herself, Azula accompanied the crew above deck and it wasn't long until they were heading back towards the fire nation. She made small talk, nothing of importance to her, but enough to make the crew comfortable for the journey. She learned the names of their family members, their children's fields of study or careers, and even the names of their pets. Though she was likely to forget such details, the crew seemed pleased to talk about things that brought them comfort.   
"I heard the council was less than inviting," one young gentleman remarked. "Can't say I'm not surprised. Those chumps have it out for everyone. A buddy of mine in the earth kingdom nearly lost his job because of our correspondence."  
"I'm sorry to hear that," Azula muttered, and she meant it. She didn't like the idea of people being overly hostile to those too young to be involved in Ozai's war. In fact, the gentleman couldn't have been older than ten when she was fourteen. Too young to even see the frontlines and most likely still in school. "They'll come around in time. It would be naive to assume others wouldn't be hostile to us. Our past isn't one of excellence. Their trust will have to be earned."  
"You're right," the young man nodded, "but the crew and I were talking. We have your back no matter what those air heads say or think. You're no different than us. If you can change them so can the old coots."   
Azula spared the young man a gentle smile. She appreciated the sentiment, but the constant reminder that she and her people weren't welcome did little to soothe her anxiety. She still feared her own homeland, because even within the fire nation others were against her. Against change. And if her own people were divided then the rest of the world would be too.   
"When we return home," Azula sighed, "find a place to settle and lay low. Avoid the troublemakers will you? You're young and they won't hesitate to intimidate you with numbers."  
"You're young too," the man smirked, "but I get it. You're royalty. No one would cross that line. Me? I'm a commoner. Free game."  
Shaking his head in mild amusement, the crew man headed below decks to rouse those still sleeping. Azula watched him go and wondered if he had anyone waiting for him back home. He was nice, kind hearted it seemed, and she couldn't help but feel that he deserved to be more than just a sailor.   
— — —  
"Welcome back!" Kiyi beamed, tackling her older sister in a hug. "I know you were gone for like two days but it felt like forever!"  
"My apologies," Azula laughed lightly. "Is my brother still sane?"  
"Pfft," Kiyi laughed, "he can't plan a wedding to save his life!"  
"I figured that was the case," Azula mused, reminded once again that Kiyi was tall and nearly Ty Lee's height. In fact, she resembled the acrobat more and more. So much so that it was nearly unnerving. Of course, Azula couldn't help but wonder if Ikem contributed the height gene for Kiyi, or if she'd just been screwed over in receiving her family's dominant genes of being average height.   
"It could be worse," Kiyi whispered, "but mother is doing most of the work."   
"Ah," Azula nodded, " I see."   
"Also," Kiyi frowned, "you saw the papers right?"  
"From Republic City?" Azula worried.  
"Yeah," Kiyi nodded, "somehow they've even been printed here. Zuko's already fixing the issue though, but the gossip's still taken flight."  
"I'm not surprised," Azula muttered. "But my name's been dragged through worse mud than that."   
"It just isn't fair," Kiyi sighed. "And besides, who even cares? People ought to like who they want."  
"It doesn't work like that," Azula shook her head. "Not here anyways."  
"Why?"  
"My father," Azula explained, "and fear."   
"He really is a horrible man isn't he?" Kiyi asked.  
"Not horrible," Azula faltered, earning an incredulous look from her younger sister, "just... misguided."  
"Misguided. How?!" Kiyi glowered. "You think he'll change? People like him don't do that."  
"I did."  
"You're not him though," Kiyi insisted. Silence settled between the two as Azula processed their discussion. She wasn't sure why she defended her father, only that it had been instinct to do so, and she hated that she had said anything in his defense to begin with.   
"You're right," Azula swallowed tightly, "I don't know why I said what I did. Forgive me."  
Kiyi's expression softened as she noticed her sister's downcast eyes, curled shoulders, and nervous hands tugging lightly at the  fabric of her sleeves in quick succession. "It's okay. I didn't mean to be insensitive."  
"You weren't," Azula shook her head, "you were right to say what you did."  
Kiyi contemplated hugging the princess once more but thought better of it. She could tell when Azula wanted to be left alone and this was one of those times. "I'm going to go make sure dad doesn't accidentally burn dinner. He wanted to give the servants a break today. He just sucks a cooking," Kiyi stammered, breaking the awkward silence.  
"If anyone asks I'll be at the canal. I have energy to burn and a walk will do just fine," Azula decided. Really, what she wanted was space. Time to think and nurse her own thoughts. Her conversation with Kiyi had sparked a train of thought she hadn't paid much attention to as of late and it was something she could no longer avoid.   
Leaving the palace behind, Azula ventured along the cobble stoned paths towards the long strip of a waterway that ran the edge of the city. It was something she'd watched be built as s child, and it had withstood the trials of time much like she had.   
Letting the cool air prickle at her skin, she let her feet guide her as her mind wandered, but she couldn't keep from wrapping her arms about herself. I'm fact, she'd discovered some time ago why she liked the position. It was familiar and resembled the jacket she'd once worn at the institution. It was calming, grounding, and safe.   
Yet that was the only bit of comfort her mind let her have. She was still mulling over why she'd defended her father. He was a horrible man. He'd done horrible things, said horrible things, and protected horrible people. There was no excuse for that yet she'd called Ozai misguided. He wasn't misguided at all. He'd chosen his path, he'd known what he was doing all along and he'd done it anyways.   
It seemed that even though his influence had dwindled over time, she was so used to defending him that even now the need to do so presented itself. Frankly, she was disgusted with herself.   
"Well," a gruff voice broke Azula's private thoughts. "If it isn't the little princess."   
Eyes narrowing, Azula scanned the dark. She hadn't even noticed the sun had set. Hands twitching slightly she refrained from setting them aflame. "And you are?"  
"Oh I'm only one of the folk around here." The voice chuckled. "See, I was hoping you'd be out and about because I have a score to settle with you."  
"Which is?" Azula asked, disguising her nerves with an authoritative tone.   
"That you need some markings. See, we all saw that little paper and frankly I'm a bit ashamed that someone of your position would be...filthy. And since your daddy isn't here to do the honors we'll be doing it for him," the man came into view beneath the moonlight. He was accompanied by four others. They were dressed in black and only their eyes could be seen.   
Azula took a step back, stance firm, fists igniting to reveal the group of men. She felt he'd heart hammering in her chest, felt her mouth go dry, and for the first time in a while she was afraid. "You can try, but we both know those papers are lies."   
"Are they?" The man asked, his eyes shining with mirth. "Come on, princess, you've gotten worse at lying. I can see the fear in your eyes, and  you can't hurt us. What will everyone think if the princess attacks a group of helpless men? Surely she would prove to be the same sort of terror she was as a child. Burning, killing, scorching, and taxing those who simply want to get by in life."   
The words tumbled about in Azula's mind and a lead weight settled in her stomach. They were right. If she hurt them, burned them, or even maimed them in any severe way the story would be twisted and those who already wanted her dead would leap on the story like a pack of hog monkeys.   
"I will defend myself," Azula promised. She wouldn't go down easy, even if it meant she couldn't use her bending, and even if she couldn't use any hidden blades tucked beneath her sleeves. There were things she recalled from childhood. Things Ty Lee has taught her.   
The man was the first to move. His fire was bright, vibrant, but his form was stiff and uncomfortable. Azula was quick to respond. Ducking the jet of fire, she grasped his arm and pushed up. His elbow gave a rather unnerving crack and his eyes widened with pain.   
The rest of the group followed their leader and a brawl erupted beside the canal. From a distance bright flashes of orange could be seen, illuminating the dark and igniting dark silhouettes. Yet all of the fire nation seemed to be sleeping.   
Sweat dotted her forehead, but she was outnumbered and others had unexpectedly arrived. Under normal circumstances she would have ruined them, made them bleed, hurt them in every physical way possible, but that wasn't an option. Deep down she knew it was a lost fight but she would forget all formalities for the sake of survival. She would fight tooth and nail until their eyes were torn free if need be.   
An arm wrapped firmly about her neck, struggling, Azula fought to break the  hold, but another man knocked her to her knees. A third captured her other arm. Gritting her teeth, Azula strained, fought until her muscles screamed that they would break if the pressure of resistance didn't yield.   
She watched from the corner of her eye as the man who'd brought the battle upon her wrestled her left hand until her arm was fully extended. With malice in his eyes he ignited his free hand. Orange flames preyed upon pale skin and the smell of burning flesh filled the air.   
Azula had never cried out in such pain before, had never felt such excruciating heat, and for a moment her vision went dark. Then, all too soon the pain called her back to the present and no matter how much she fought the fire continued to devour her arm, her hand, her fingers.   
"Enough. That's enough," warned another, a woman from the sound of the voice. With a grunt and sickening smile in his eyes, the man released the princess. The others did not. She wasn't sure what happened next, only that she felt pain.   
— — —  
"Kiyi," Zuko called, he'd  heard that Azula arrived the previous night but hasn't seen her, "did Azula come back home?"  
"Uh..." The young girl stammered. "I don't know. She said she was going for a walk on the canal. Did you check her room?"  
"She wasn't there," Zuko frowned. He frowned in thought as his mind wrestled with the feeling that something was wrong. "We need to find her. I have a bad feeling."   
"Yeah," Kiyi nodded. "Come on."   
The two siblings were quick to leave the palace not bothering to inform the others of their escapade. Zuko was anxious to say the least, but his anxiety gave way to fear. If Azula had gotten into trouble, if she'd caused trouble, it must've been bad.   
Though it felt like forever until they arrived at the canal, Zuko broke into a jog. There was no telling how far down Azula had wandered. When she was deep in thought the rest of the world vanished and with it the concepts of distance and time.   
"There!" Kiyi called, pointing urgently to a spot up ahead off the slope of the stone wall. Zuko's chest filled with dread as he noticed scorch marks decorating the canal's stony side and a heap of red clothing half submerged in water. Running like his life depended on it, he stumbled down the sloped side  falling to his knees when he reached the all too familiar person.   
Hands shaking with adrenaline and worry, Zuko carefully rolled his sister over. The sight and smell nearly made him vomit. Her arm was horribly burned from her fingers halfway to her elbow. The skin wasn't blistered but black in color and the smell of burnt flesh clung to the air.   
Azula's right cheek was badly bruised, and her lip was split painfully down the middle. "Oh god. Kiyi, get home. Tell the healers what's happened."  
Despite Zuko's orders, the young firebender  stood rooted to the spot in terror. She'd never seen something so gruesome and gory. She felt like it was fake but knew that it wasn't. Let alone the fact that Azula, of all people, had been hurt in some form of battle.   
"Zuko-"  
"Kiyi! Go!" Zuko yelled, snapping her from her daze. Turning back to Azula he noticed her eyelids twitch and suddenly she was stirring awake.   
"Zuko? What-"  
"Don't move," Zuko warned. "You're hurt."   
"I'm fine," Azula insisted, pushing him aside and sitting upright. She'd gotten completely to her feet before noticing the extent of her wounds. Her eyes widened in abject horror and Zuko barely caught her before she fell to her knees. "No, no, no. No. How-"  
"It's okay," Zuko soothed, "I've got you. I'm gonna get you back to the palace."   
Before Azula could protest, her picked her up and walked briskly the way he'd come. By the time he'd returned home he was covered in sweat, his arms ached, and his back hurt, but none of that caused him to falter. His sister needed him.   
But despite his best intentions Azula refused to acknowledge anything or anyone. Not even the healers could convince her to relax and coax her arm away from where she cradled it to her chest.   
"How did this happen?" Ikem demanded.   
"The papers," Zuko whispered. "Those damn reporters are the reason this even happened."   
"But why?"   
"While you were away, in the wilderness and my father was in power he made it law for pedophiles and those of same sex relationships to be burned. Burned so bad that people would notice. Right hands were for pedophiles, left for those who broke the 'natural law'," Zuko explained.  
"Pedophiles are one thing but people who prefer a gender over another? That's-"  
"Cruel, and frankly sadistic," Zuko finished. "But right now I want Ty Lee back here where she'll be safe. I fear someone may try something with her while she's away. I can't have my friends and family in danger."   
"I'll send a message," Ikem promised. While he and Azula never interacted much, he loved her as his own. There were times he saw Ursa in the princess and it only made him want to protect her more.   
"Azula," Ursa spoke gently, kneeling in front of her daughter. "You have to let them help you. Come on honey."  
But Azula wasn't there. She was somewhere else entirely. Her eyes were seeing past the world around her and her ears were keen on blocking out every source of noise imaginable.   
— — —  
"What's wrong?" Aang frowned as Ty Lee frantically moved about the house. Sokka had invited everyone over for dinner and for the second time in a row the acrobat was frantic to leave.   
"Read it," Ty Lee breathed, passing the message over to the avatar. Aang's eyes widened in surprise then horror.   
"We'll take Appa." Aang promised, getting to his feet as Katara took up the message to read herself. Sokka peered over her shoulder and his jaw nearly hit the floor as he read.   
"Can someone explain what it says?" Toph grumbled.   
Ty Lee ignored the conversation and followed Aang outside where Appawas happily teasing Momo. "Sorry big guy. We have to go quick, something's happened."   
Appa, dutiful as ever, rose to all of his feet and took off at the avatar's trademark call.   
"The message was dated a day and a half ago," Ty Lee informed, "and if she's not letting anyone treat her that wound isn't going to heal."   
"We could head back and bring Katara," Aang proposed.   
"If Azula won't even listen to Zuko she's sure as hell not listening to your girlfriend. Sorry," the acrobat sighed.  
"I understand," Aang nodded. "Alright Appa, how fast can you fly?"   
Appa, bless his heart, put all of his effort into gaining as much speed as possible. He sensed the urgency of both his companions and was determined not to disappoint. What once would have been a two or three day trip was completed in record time. Nearly twenty four hours later, Appa crash landed in the court yard.   
"Good boy," Aang soothed, parting Appa's head. "We'll give you all the food you could ever want. How does that sound?"  
Appa gave a garbled grunt and fell asleep. He would be in a coma for some time, and although Ty Lee wanted to thank the sky bison she was more concerned with other matters.   
"I didn't expect you to get here so soon," Zuko remarked.   
"Where is she?"  
"Mai's with her at the moment," Zuko explained, waving for the acrobat to follow. "She hasn't budged from the medical wing."   
Ty Lee nodded and matched his brisk pace with ease. As Zuko had promised, Mai was keeping the princess company, but Azula sat on the very edge of the cot staring absently at the ground, arm cradled to her chest, and expression unmoving.  
"She won't respond to anyone," Mai worried.   
"Give them space," Zuko decided. "Ty Lee got her through a lot before maybe she can do it again."   
"Are you okay with that?" Mai asked, but the acrobat was fighting back a wave of nausea at the sight of Azula's wound, "Easy."  
"I'm good," Ty Lee promised, but she looked awfully pale. "I can try to talk to her but if it doesn't work I don't know what to do."   
"It's worth a try," Mai sighed, taking Zuko's hand and pulling him from the room.   
Swallowing tightly, Ty Lee moved so she stood in front of Azula. The princess didn't seem to notice her arrival. Sucking in a sharp breath, the acrobat sat cross legged on the floor, appearing in Azula's line of sight. For the first time since she'd arrived back at the palace, the princess' gaze shifted.   
Recognition morphed her features but whatever relief had been there dissipated in a nano second and her brow furrowed, her bottom lip quivered, and her entire body began to tremble.   
"Come here," Ty Lee whispered, rising up to her knees and enveloping the princess in a hug. Azula hid her face in the acrobat's neck as sobs racked her body. Though she tried to fight it, Ty Lee couldn't help the tears that fell from her own eyes. "I am so sorry Azula. I'm so sorry."   
"How can he still hurt me when he's not even here?" The princess choked out. "I wish I'd drowned in that canal."  
"Don't say that," Ty Lee worried, pulling back to study the princess' face. "Please, don't say that."   
"But I mean it," Azula whimpered.   
"I know, and it breaks my heart that you do," Ty Lee replied, her voice cracking with grief. "I just-why didn't you fight back?"   
"I did," Azula insisted, "but if I hurt them they would twist the story. They would make a narrative and I can't-I can't go back to an institution. I can't. I can't have them all hate me again. I can't lose you."   
"You wouldn't lose me." Ty Lee protested. “Zuko would defend you. Mai too.”  
“He must listen to the people,” Azula reminded, blinking away the remainder of her tears but it seemed that as soon as she collected herself another thought broke her heart again and the tears fell anew. “Why must I be the only one with monsters? With remnants of a past I can’t shake? This is my second chance and I want nothing more than to give up.”   
“I have monsters too,” Ty Lee promised, gently wiping away the princess’ tears.   
“Tell me who they are. Please.” Azula begged.   
“You once asked me why I hated going home,” Ty Lee began, gently pulling Azula into her lap and holding the princess with care. “And I always told you it’s because I hated staying in one place. That was a partial truth. I just wanted to be anywhere other than home.”  
“Why?”  
“My family was quick to forget about me until they needed a scape goat,” Ty Lee explained. “I learned that criticism, that anger, that insults were the only way I was awarded attention. If my sisters forgot a chore it was my fault. If my father missed a work day it was my fault. But I love my sisters and they loved me which made things hard. But then my father began to suspect that I wasn’t normal.”  
“You could chi block,” Azula noted.  
“No, Azula,” Ty Lee shook her head, “that I loved women as much as I loved men. He could tell by the way I looks at people, how I tried so hard to get them to notice me, and most of all how I looked at you. He hated it. Hated me because he was convinced that I would be the downfall of everything he worked for. There were times he scolded me, mocked me, and when I cried to my mother she defended him because what could she do? He was the man of the house.”   
“I’m sorry,” Azula apologized.   
“Shhh,” Ty Lee interjected, nuzzling her face into the princess’ neck. “It’s not your fault. It’s just that over time my sisters began to detest me because my father’s anger was no longer contained to me. They’ve changed now that we’re all older but for a time I was alone. All I had was you and when I realized you didn’t want me I left. I found the circus. So yes, I have monsters, and I lived with them like you. I saw them every day and I hated myself more than anything else in my life.”   
“What changed?”  
“I learned to love myself. I learned to value what I had to offer and I realized that I only had to make myself happy,” Ty Lee explained, closing her eyes and enjoying the moment of closeness. “I want nothing more than for you to do the same. So please, please, let the healers help you. I know you don’t trust them ever since they tried to force you to take your medication, but your wound will only get worse if left alone.”   
“Will you stay with me? I don’t want to be alone with them,” Azula whispered.   
“Okay,” Ty Lee agreed. She stayed with the princess in her lap for a moment longer, kissed away her lingering tears, and for a little while Azula forgot the pain of her burn. Then, all too soon, Ty Lee stood and brought the healers back into the medical wing.   
Azula eyed them wearily and she flinched whenever they made sudden movements but at the end of the day the burn was covered and Azula’s pain dulled with the help of medication to a nagging throb.   
“They want you to stay here for the night,” Zuko explained, having rejoined the two girls.   
“I won’t,” Azula insisted, eyes angry and posture guarded. “I want to go back to my room and I want to stay there. I want...I want to be somewhere familiar.”  
“Alright,” Zuko nodded, knowing it was futile to argue, and knowing she was seeking familiarity in place of safety.   
— — —  
That night, Azula struggled to sleep and when she did find a brief moment of rest she woke whimpering and crying. Her dreams were plagued by her father once more and now the humiliating ordeal of being marked. It was exhausting.   
And though Ty Lee heard and wanted to comfort the princess she couldn’t risk it. Being caught in Azula’s room would only make things worse. Nothing in the palace seemed to stay secret long. But where Ty Lee couldn’t be with Azula, Ursa could.   
“Azula,” Ursa whispered, sitting beside her daughter and watching Azula wake fitfully. “It’s okay. It’s just me.”   
“Mommy?” Azula muttered, seeming to forget herself. She hadn’t used that word in years, but Ursa’s heart ached because even as a child Azula only called her that when she was truly distraught.   
“Why can’t you sleep, darling?” Ursa asked, brushing aside Azula’s bangs.   
“D-Dad.” The princess croaked.   
“What are you so afraid of that you’re dreaming of him?” Ursa asked.   
“I-“ Azula swallowed tightly, her eyes reflecting a silent panic.   
“You think he knows don’t you?” Ursa sighed. Her mother’s words alarmed Azula.   
“What do you mean?” She asked unable to hide the fear in her voice.   
“Honey, I know. I’ve known for a long time,” Ursa smiles gently. “I know that’s why you shut everyone out. I know that’s why this hurts more than just a wound.”  
Ursa gestured at Azula’s wrapped arm and the princess’ eyes welled with tears yet again. “How did you know? I didn’t tell anyone. I didn’t-I hated her. I made sure of it. So Dad-“  
“Darling,” Ursa worried, trying to calm her daughter before things escalated. “I’m your mother. There are things I noticed that your father never would. You wanted nothing more than Ty Lee’s attention as a child. You loved her so much and I could see it in your eyes before you learned how to lie. I wasn’t sure until you were a little older but then I knew. I knew the moment you distracted your father so Ty Lee wouldn’t bear the brunt of his wrath when you ruined the hedges,” Ursa smiled tenderly. “And I loved you because you loved her. Because there was a part of you that you would never give up no matter what your father did or told you. Because even when you knew he hated it, would hate that part of you which loved, you disguised it as the very hate you feared. And while it wasn’t right, I understand it.”  
“Please did tell anyone,” Azula pleaded. “Please. They hurt me but they’ll do worse to her. She’s not from father’s blood. She’s a commoner. They’ll kill her.”   
“Shh, Azula, darling...I won’t tell a soul. I haven’t after all this time. Not even your brother,” Ursa assured. “Your love is safe with me.”   
Azula nodded and moved to nestle into her mother’s side. Ursa said nothing as she pressed a kiss to her daughter’s temple and watched her fall asleep. But a single thought echoed in Ursa’s mind. Why was it that certain people were born with tragedy in their blood?


	6. Chapter Six

The healing process was a slow and painful one. The nerve damage Azula had received was severe, and removing as much dead skin from the wounded area as possible resulted in a slow and excruciatingly painful process. 

 

"If I have to deal with this a moment longer I'm going to vomit," Azula growled, wincing as a set of metal tweezers pulled and plucked at her arm. 

 

"Take a break," Zuko decided, waving off the nurse. "I know it's painful but it needs to be done."   
"Is this how it felt for you?" Azula asked, looking briefly at Zuko's own scar. 

 

"Yes," Zuko nodded, "but yours is far bigger than mine and I was lucky not to lose my eye." 

 

"I should have been kinder to you when you were suffering," Azula muttered. Only now did she realize how painful fire could be, and it made her chest ache with guilt that she hadn't been more of a support system for her brother while he healed enough to survive his banishment. 

 

"It's alright," Zuko promised. "But...that will likely scar."

 

"I know," Azula nodded, but her expression betrayed her. The idea of it broke her heart. She didn't want to be scarred in such a way. Sure she had her own self inflicted scars but this was different. This was somehow worse. It wouldn't go away and at some point people would realize the truth it told was real. She couldn't pass it off as a lie as long as she truly loved Ty Lee, because there would come a time when the world would have to know that truth and she wasn't prepared for that. Not when the scar, the mark, would be a reminder of that moment to come like some unavoiable ghost. 

 

"Hey," Zuko spoke softly, "it'll be okay. I've already sent a notice to the nation about what happened. You wouldn't believe how many people are angry and rallying in your defense. Besides, I know it's not true, you're my sister after all. I think I'd have noticed by now if it were." 

 

"Why should it matter?" Azula countered, a hint of anger in her voice. "Why does it have to be true or false?"

 

"I just figured maybe it-"

 

"Would what? Help fix things? The fact of the matter is...the people still uphold father's beliefs and as long as they do people will be hurt. You should be asking yourself why such events are still happening rather than concerning yourself with whether or not Republic City's reporters were right." 

 

"You know I'm working on changing the nation's mentality," Zuko frowned. "It won't change over night and I'm already looking for the people who hurt you. There needs to be justice for what they did and I don't intend on letting the matter go." 

 

"Justice is making sure it doesn't happen again. I don't care if the people who hurt me are thrown in prison or not," Azula remarked. "They can rot for all I care." 

 

Zuko studied his sister for a moment longer before the nurse returned to her duties and began treating Azula's wound again. Nodding in silent contemplation, the fire lord stood and left his sister alone, but he was replaced by Mai shortly after. 

 

"Zuko thinks it's best to hold off the wedding until all of this dies down." Mai noted, sitting across from Azula, "but I told him you'd hate that idea." 

 

"I do," Azula glowered, jerking her wounded arm away as pain flared up to her shoulder, "so why tell me this news?"

 

"Just to confirm that I was right," Mai mused, "and to make sure you were alright."  
"I am," Azula assured. 

 

"Physically you're wounded but how are you emotionally?" Mai asked, eyebrows creasing slightly with worry. 

 

"Angry," Azula replied, "and..."

 

She faltered for a moment. There was something she wanted to say but she couldn't think of the word for it. 

 

"Ashamed?" Mai finished. "Why?"

 

"That I let it happen."

 

"You didn't have a choice," Mai countered. "Ty Lee told me you fought them off as best as you could without your bending. What they did to you wasn't because you let it happen. They made it happen. There's a difference."

 

"Maybe," Azula nodded, her eyes falling to the floor. "Can we stop talking about this? I've had enough of it. I don't need anymore reminders."

 

Almost as if to mock the princess, the nurse plucked with a new enthusiasm that left Azula cursing under her breath until it finally came to an end and her wounds were dressed. Eager to leave the hell room behind, Azula ventured towards the gardens. She needed fresh air.

 

"Is it a good idea to be outside?" Mai worried. 

 

"It's covered and infection isn't likely due to the salves. Besides, even if they told me not to go outside I wouldn't listen," Azula smirked, earning a tiny smile from Mai in return. 

 

The two friends parted ways for the afternoon, and Azula wandered about the familiar space slowly and deliberately. She'd been playing with an idea for some time yet it always frightened her. Whether or not she would ask or dare to follow through with it depended entirely on Ty Lee. If the acrobat wouldn't support her she wouldn't risk doing it alone. 

 

At last, tired of running the same track of thought for countless miles, Azula tucked herself away in a secluded corner shadowed by a sloping tree. It didn't take Ty Lee long to find her. 

 

"May I sit?" The acrobat asked. 

 

"Of course," Azula nodded, watching as Ty Lee stretched for a brief moment before sitting and nestling into the princess' side. With her good hand, Azula guided the acrobat's head to settle on her shoulder. The two sat in silence for some time simply content with enjoying each other's company. 

 

"I know you've been thinking lately," Ty Lee sighed, drawing Azula's good hand into her lap and playing with the princess' fingers. "May I ask what it's about?"

 

"My father," Azula admitted, "I want to see him." 

 

"I wondered when you would," Ty Lee laughed nervously. "I just worry-"

 

"That it'll do more harm than good. I know," Azula swallowed tightly. "I just. I feel like it's the only way to finally get rid of him. To look him in the eye and tell him I'm not afraid anymore. To prove to him that-that I'm better now."

 

"He doesn't need your proof Azula," Ty Lee shook her head, "he doesn't deserve it. And you don't need to prove anything else to him."

 

"You're right," Azula whispered, "it was just a thought but I won't keep you from my thoughts on the matter. If I decide to go I want you there. Maybe not with us, but close enough that I feel safe."

 

"I'll go but only if you're certain," Ty Lee promised. Azula smiled ever so slightly, and the gesture was met by a feather light kiss. 

 

"You don't have to be so tentative," Azula muttered, "I won't break."

 

"I don't want to startle you," the acrobat admitted. 

 

"I'll have to learn one way or another," Azula mused. Stifling a laugh, Ty Lee gently cupped the princess' cheeks and kissed her firmly. It was sure and steady which lead Azula to reciprocate the gesture. 

 

"I know you've never kissed anyone," Ty Lee noted, "but I'm glad I can teach you." 

 

Though Azula tried to hide it, she knew the acrobat noticed the heat rising to her cheeks and a slight anger in her eye. "Just my father. But never mind that, I don't want to dwell on those memories. I just- is it painfully obvious? I mean, that I've never kissed someone." 

 

"No," Ty Lee shook her head gently squeezing Azula's hand. She chastised herself for causing such memories to blossom in the princes' mind , "I've had worse kisses. Way worse."

 

"Right," Azula nodded. She'd almost forgotten that Ty Lee has past lovers when she had not. She always hated hearing the acrobat talk of them. "Did they treat you kindly?" 

 

"Most did. Some didn't. But it never felt right. They just wanted me. Nothing more. I was a means to an end for most. I never let them win though. You taught me how to see through folks like that," Ty Lee explained, wrapping an arm about Azula's shoulders and drawing her close. 

 

"Will you stay with me tonight?" The princess asked, changing the subject. "My mother stayed last night. I slept awfully." 

 

"I can, but only if you're sure. With all that's happened I worried it would make things worse," the acrobat frowned. 

 

"I'm certain. It's cold without you. I never realized that," Azula sighed, seeming to forget that she was even talking to Ty Lee. 

 

"Then I'll stay with you," Ty Lee promised. "All you have to do is ask."

 

"I know," Azula smiled faintly, "and I'm thankful." 

\-- -- --

"Woah," Ty Lee smiled, peering out the open window to study the moon. "Come look at this Azula! It's blue!"

Azula momentarily paused in her attempt to pull her hair back and joined the acrobat at the window. To her surprise Ty Lee was right. The moon was blue, but it was also bright and full. "I've never seen it so large before. It's strange."

"It's perfect," Ty Lee insisted, looking excitedly at the princess when her breath hitched.

"What?" Azula frowned.

"Nothing," the acrobat blushed, "you just look really pretty in the moonlight. That's all."

"Oh," Azula nodded, feeling her own face flush, "thank you?"

"Pfft," Ty Lee laughed, "you're so-I don't know, cute when you get all flustered."

"I'm not used to being flustered," Azula reminded, struggling to pull her hair back with one hand. 

"Here," Ty Lee sighed, moving to stand behind the princess. She took the red tie and brush with care before methodically pulling back Azula's hair. "There."

The princess hummed in thanks and returned the brush to its designated desk drawer while Ty Lee made herself comfortable in bed. What the acrobat wasn't expecting was for Azula to clamber atop her and sprawl out like a blanket. The princess nestled her face in the crook of Ty Lee's neck and closed her eyes. "You're quite comfortable."

"Thanks," the acrobat giggled, wrapping her arms snugly about the princess and nuzzling her face into Azula's shoulder. In complete honesty, the weight of Azula's body was grounding. She didn't feel restless or jittery but calm and comfortable. Yet she had been plagued by a particular thought for some time. It'd started ever since Zuko asked her about Azula's injury. "'Zula?"

"Hmm?"

"We should tell Zuko," Ty Lee frowned in thought, "about us. He should know."

But her words alarmed Azula, and the princess was quick to remove herself from the acrobat in a panic. "No!"

"What? Why?" Ty Lee asked, sitting up in confusion.

"No," Azula repeated, her voice tight and shaky. "I'm not-I won't tell him. He shouldn't know. He doesn't need to."

"He's your brother."

"I don't care!" Azula snapped. A moment of silence settled between the two, and as Azula began stuttering out an apology Ty Lee held up a hand and silenced her.

"What are you not telling me?" She asked.

"I-Zuko thinks what happened to me, that the burn was a mistake. He told me that I shouldn't be too upset because it wasn't true. That he knows it isn't true. He's happy believing that. He was so eager to tell me how he informed the rest of the nation that it wasn't true. He doesn't- he doesn't need to know that it is. He- he wouldn't believe me anyway. He'd deny it until he was blue in the face," Azula rambled. 

"Okay," Ty Lee nodded, "okay. I won't say anything but we'll have to tell him at some point Azula or he'll figure it out on his own."

"I know," the princess sighed, "just not now. It's too soon and I don't know what I'd do if he...if he turned on me."

"Well, if it isn't soon just wait until I get back-"

"What do you mean?" Azula asked.

"I still have a job to do Azula. As much as I'd love to stay here with you I can't. They need me back in Republic City and Zuko says I'll be there at least another month until everything is final," the acrobat explained, her voice full of regret.

"Oh," Azula muttered, "I understand."

"I'll write to you," Ty Lee promised. "Everyday too. Lord knows I'll be bored with everything else and need the distraction."

"I'd like that," the princess admitted. "But when do you leave?"

"Two days," Ty Lee noted. "I meant to tell you earlier but what with the nurses plucking you like a bird and your mind running laps about seeing your father I thought I could wait until tomorrow."

"I'm glad you told me," Azula decided, "having a two day warning is better than no warning."

"Good," the acrobat smiled faintly, "now, let's actually get to sleep okay? I'm exhausted."

Azula kept quiet as she nestled up against the acrobat's side and closed her eyes. She was dreading those two measly days. Not becuase she didn't want to make them count, but because she'd be alone again. Not physically, but emotionally. There was a connection she had with the acrobat that she shared with no one else and it left her feeling vulnerable and empty when Ty Lee wasn't around. But she had letters to look forward too and that was something small that she could love even if it was hard.


	7. Chapter Seven

As much as Azula hated not having the acrobat around, she understood why it was necessary. Yet the palace seemed a little colder, a little more empty, and a little duller without Ty Lee around. But even Azula wasn't the only one who noticed it. Kiyi was thoroughly unhappy that her best friend was away for "political bullshit," so to speak.   
However, Azula was pleased to find that Ty Lee did make a point of writing nearly every day. Each night a messenger hawk would bring a carefully written letter and each morning Azula would send it off with a message of her own.   
Tonight's long awaited letter was rather charming:   
I have to admit it Azula, as much as I love this job, I really don't like stupid people. Now, I'm not saying I'm the smartest in the world but even I understand basic math. Of course, it's all thanks to you helping me in school but that's besides the point. Sokka, Aang, and I just had to redo an entire financial estimate because somehow this Earth Bender Accountant is an "expert." The only thing he's good at it seems is lying his way into a position he clearly doesn't know anything about.  
Anyways, enough of my ramblings about politics and reports. Even I'm not cruel enough to bore another human being with this. Which brings me to the fact that Aang managed to find me a place to stay. It's small and cozy but empty. Like, stupidly empty. The walls are all blank and you know I don't like blank walls. And you may be thinking 'just decorate the place,' but it's not that simple. It's a science really.  
Besides, I wanted somethings from home to make it more familiar. It'd be even better if I could have you. Not to mention the heating here is horrible and you always make the perfect heater when it's cold out. I can only have so many blankets before I feel like I'm suffocating. Besides, you even make the perfect human blanket. If only I could find a way to have a portable version of you. Then maybe things would be a little warmer and happier. But that just means I'll enjoy coming home even more.   
-Ty   
As usual, the letter made Azula smile so much her face nearly hurt. It always amazed her how easily Ty Lee's personality appeared in her writings. After a moment of careful contemplation, Azula rummaged about her room before finding a very thin and light blanket. She'd used it for her bunk when at sea. It was always stuffy in the cabin so she avoided heavy blankets like the plague. Rolling it carefully and neatly, Azula placed a small note in the middle and set it aside to be sent off in the morning.   
And when she did send the small present off, she found herself waiting impatiently for the sun to set and the moon to appear. Then, waiting anxiously by the main palace doors, the guards brought in the messenger hawk which squawked happily at Azula. It'd come to consider her a friend.   
"Thank you," the princess smiled hesitantly at the guard who gave a low bow as the bird was passed over to the princess. As soon as it's feet settled on her arm, the hawk was nuzzling it's head against Azula's cheek. "Be patient, I promise I'll give you a feast like always."   
Eyes glistening, the messenger hawk shifted excitedly from foot to foot. Stifling a tiny laugh, Azula carried the bird to her room and let him perch on her desk while she slid over a bowl of meal scraps from the dinner table. As the hawk chowed down, she carefully removed the message.   
Making herself comfortable in bed, Azula opened the seal with shaking hands. She wasn't nervous per se, but it was an unusual side effect of anticipation.  
You are the most amazing, beautiful, wonderful person in all the land. It's almost like you could see the future. Today was rough, really rough, and when I went home everything was so depressing until I saw Arnold (yes I named the hawk Arnold) waiting with your message. What I wasn't expecting was the gift. Forget my complaining about blankets. If I had a dozen of them that smelled like you I'd be the happiest girl ever. Not to be creepy, of course, but it was almost like you weren't gone. I don't know, I guess having it made me feel a little less lonely. What I'm trying to say is that it was really sweet and it's only made me miss you more. What I wouldn't give to hug you right now.   
-Ty   
And while the time passed slowly, Azula tucked each note away in her desk to read on the occasional day a letter didn't come. It was always heartbreaking but she knew that Ty Lee was busy. But through all this time the princess forgot how painful her wound was and how lonely the palace felt.   
— — —  
"Is it me or is Azula more confusing now?" Zuko asked, breaking the comfortable silence he and Mai were in.   
"Hm?" Mai asked, arching a questioning eyebrow.   
"Well, some days she seems happy, almost giddy, and other days she seems so withdrawn and depressed," Zuko explained. "I can't make sense of it."  
"Why does it matter?" Mai asked, momentarily setting down her book.  
"It just worries me, that's all. Without Ty Lee here she hardly remembers to take her medications or to take care of herself. She's in some other world entirely and I don't want her having any set backs. Not after all that's happened," Zuko sighed, running a hand down his tired face.   
"I don't know, Zuko," Mai admitted, "engage her. Ask her to help with wedding plans, or offer to head into town with her, and maybe she'll open up about what's gotten her so emotionally flippant."   
"You're being sarcastic," Zuko snorted.   
"Only partially," Mai mused. "Just be careful not to get too nosy. She protects herself for a reason and sometimes it's a good reason. She talks about things when she's ready."   
"She never talks to me it's always Ty Lee and I can't help but feel frustrated that I'm always getting information second hand," Zuko muttered.   
"Listen," Mai sighed, staring intently at Zuko, "just talk to her. Feel it out. Get a sense of how she's doing."   
"Fine," Zuko grunted. "But I am not letting her touch the wedding plans. She'll get too anal about it."   
"As if you aren't already," Mai teased, earning a half hearted glare.   
"Ha Ha very funny," Zuko mocked, abandoning his desk to join Mai in bed. "You're lucky I like you."  
"Oh, you like me? I hadn't noticed," Mai replied dryly, but Zuko noted the slightest bit of a smirk on her face.   
"How are you this annoyingly attractive?" He grumbled, rolling onto his side and closing his eyes. He was beginning to develop a headache but it seemed Mai knew how to make him feel better. As she read, she ran a hand lightly through his hair until Zuko was sound asleep.   
— — —  
"We're going into town," Zuko declared, startling Azula as she brushed her teeth.   
"What? Why?" She asked, looking ridiculous with a tooth brush wedged into a cheek and eyebrows drawn together in confusion.   
"Bonding time," Zuko smiled, as Azula gave him a rather mean side eye. "It'll be fun, I promise."   
"You promise things and they are never fun," Azula grumbled, waving her brother away in irritation.   
Hiding his laugh, Zuko left Azula alone until she was put together for the day. "We won't spend the whole day there, I promise. Just an hour or two. I'm getting restless being pent up in here," Zuko explained, matching Azula's pace as she headed for the palace doors. He couldn't help but notice that she seemed rather anxious. "You alright?"  
"Fine," Azula assured, but her fingers tugged lightly at the hem of her shirt a dead give away that she was lying. She used to never do that, but times had changed.   
"If you say so," Zuko shrugged.  
The two siblings walked in silence for an impossibly long time and all the while Azula's gaze kept drifting to the sky. It was an odd little tick Zuko had just noticed but he couldn't help thinking it was part of her anxiety.   
"There's no storm on its way," He remarked, wondering if his sister was nervous over a potential lightning storm. The thick clouds did look rather dark but Zuko was usually pretty good about sensing lightning storms. Maybe it would rain today, but that wasn't enough to upset his sister.   
"I know," Azula replied, tearing her eyes away from the clouds.  
"I've been meaning to ask what's gotten your spirits up lately," Zuko continued, eager not to lose his moment in engaging Azula in conversation. "Anything I should know about?"  
"Other then the fact that I'm sleeping better? No," Azula replied.   
"That's good," Zuko grinned, "I knew you were struggling with nightmares for a while. I'm glad it's not as bad anymore."   
"How's the wedding coming along? Mai said you wanted to postpone it because of me." Azula spared her brother a glance and saw how caught off guard he was. "Don't put your life on hold for me ZuZu. I'm fine."   
"That's the thing," Zuko winced, "you seem happier some days and others you seem so...sad. I just want to make sure you're okay, that's all. I'm your big brother and it's my job to take care of you."   
"I know," Azula sighed, her features softening but Zuko noticed the brief flicker of conflict in her eyes. "But I just get in moods sometimes. That's all."   
"You expect me to believe that. I can tell when you're hiding something from me now. I've learned how to read you," Zuko reminded. "You know you can talk to me."   
"That's what everyone says," the princess muttered, her arms crossing over her chest and Zuko knew he'd pressed a button. She was becoming defensive. She was protecting herself. He wanted to press a little further when an excited bird cry alerted him. He looked up to see a giddy messenger hawk nearly knock Azula flat.   
"Not now Arnold," Azula hissed, trying to still the bird, her eyes wide with what looked to be agitation and...fear. The bird tilted its head in confusion at her tone.   
"Is that your secret? You have a pet now?" Zuko mused, scratching lightly at the bird's head. He reached for the message carrier when Azula stilled his hand in a vice like grip.   
"He doesn't like when the messages are taken right away. He gets fed first." The steel in Azula's voice was unnerving. Zuko hadn't expected her to have such a strong reaction to his curiosity. When a messenger hawk came you simply took the message.   
"Right, my apologies," Zuko nodded, watching as the bird puffed up happily as Azula ran a finger beneath its chin. Once more her eyes reflected some internal conflict. There was some war going on within her that Zuko wasn't privy to.   
He decided to let it go for now. He didn't need to upset her more. Still, their time in town was far shorter than he planned, and Azula barely answered his attempts at small talk clearly preoccupied by the large bird on her arm. Yet, maybe it wasn't so bad, because Zuko noticed all of the stares that Azula didn't. He saw those searching eyes trying to locate the burn. In fact, Zuko could practically see the gears turning in his people's eyes. They wanted to know if it was true. If Azula really had been marked as if he'd lie to them for some reason.  
"Come on," Zuko sighed, worrying that eventually Azula would take notice and her temper would flare. "Let's head back home."   
— — —   
"You wouldn't believe how weird she was acting," Zuko whispered, studying Azula from across the dinner table. She seemed more engaged, less agitated, lighter even. It was far different from her demeanor earlier in the day and it was honestly appalling. "Not if you look at her now."  
"Maybe she was expecting some serious news," Mai suggested. "She might have some idea in mind and isn't planning on sharing it until she knows it'll work. You know how she is, she still hates failure."  
"I don't know," Zuko frowned. "She wouldn't be that agitated. I'll just have to check the calendar in her room. Make sure she's taking what she's supposed to. Sozin knows she'll just roll her eyes if I tell her to keep track of those things."   
"If it'll make you feel better then fine," Mai sighed, "but she won't be happy about you doing it."   
"She doesn't have to know."   
— — —  
Zuko waited until mid afternoon before venturing into his sister's room. She rarely stayed in it when the sun was at its full height. Instead, she took the time to train when her bending was at its strongest.   
Pursing his lips he scanned the wall above her desk for the calendar that used to be there only now it wasn't. Muttering to himself, he pulled out the desk drawers in search of it. The first was full of ink and brushes and stationary. The second was full of organized papers. The third, well, the third was surprising. Inside was a stack of carefully folded pieces of paper with broken seals.   
Pulling the stack from the drawer, Zuko took the first from the twine that bound them together and opened it. He recognized the handwriting immediately but the contents were more alarming.   
As both Azula and Ty Lee spent more time apart, their letters contained less casual discussion and more daring ones. Lines jumped from the papers like signal flares:   
"I know it sounds silly, but I keep thinking about holding your hand. How your palms are slightly calloused but your skin is still soft. The more I think about it the more I miss your touch."   
"Sometimes I dream that we just stay up talking all night without a care in the world and you're smiling and happy and maybe even a little flustered because I said something flirty."  
"It's during storms like this where I half expect you to clamber into bed with me and hide away from the world. Just the two of us all tangled up and calm. Your skin cool for once while mine's warm and you trace little shapes over my skin and I shiver because your touch is so light."   
"It's harder to fall asleep now. I want to be home not here. I didn't think I'd miss you this much but I have half a mind to sail back home just to spend the night with you. I'm beginning to forget what you smell like, or how your breathing sounds when you're asleep, and how your brow scrunches up like you're thinking in your dreams."   
With each page Zuko read the clearer it became how involved the two were. It made his stomach twist for reasons he couldn't explain. Forgetting his initial purpose, Zuko stole away the stack of letters and made his way to the main room of the palace where Azula sat playing cards with Kiyi while Mai and Ursa looked over wedding decor ideas.   
"When were you going to tell me?" Zuko demanded, cutting through the comfortable silence like a knife. Mai stared up at him wide eyed along with Ursa but Azula remained engaged in the game she was playing with Kiyi. "When were you going to say something?"  
This time, Azula looked up and her face paled. "What do you mean?"  
"You know exactly what I mean," Zuko frowned, holding up the stack of papers and tossing them on the floor in front of his sister.   
"You went through my things?" Azula asked, her voice impossibly small. "Why-wh-"  
"Zuko, darling, what's wrong?" Ursa asked, though she seemed nervous to even speak.   
"Ask your daughter. Turns out she's been having some 'nightly adventures' with the family acrobat," Zuko stated.   
Azula was left speechless with her mouth open, eyes wide, face flushed a vibrant red, and hands trembling.   
"Azula," Ursa ventured, looking expectantly at her daughter, "is it true? You're sleeping with T-"  
"WHAT? NO!" Azula cried.   
"Those letters make it sound like maybe that's not the case," Zuko determined, crossing his arms.  
"You...I-I could kill you," Azula glared, her eyes welling with tears as her whole body trembled. "If I had it in me I would. You have no idea what you're talking about. You have no-you had no right to look through my things. You had no right to read those and you have no right to accuse me of things you don't know about!"  
"Then explain it to me," Zuko begged. "Explain to me why you let me tell everyone that what happened to you was an accident when it wasn't. That you deserved it?!"  
"Zuko!" Ursa warned.   
"How long have you been involved?"   
"Zuko, stop," Mai frowned, watching as Azula seemed to shrink in on herself. She looked ill, and almost like death all over again.   
"You had no right," Azula mumbled, tears coating her cheeks. "You're as bad as father."   
Despite the quietness of Azula's words, the weight they held was immense.   
"Don't compare me to father," Zuko warned, his voice deadly calm. "Don't."  
"No, I will," Azula growled, clambering to her feet and staring him down. "Because you did exactly what he would do. You invaded my privacy under some self justified presence and you've-"  
"What? Hurt your feelings?" Zuko asked, arching a brow.   
"Don't patronize me," Azula whispered, her bottom lip trembling as all confidence she had died. "Don't patronize me like I'm being childish. You have no idea what you've done."   
"I haven't done anyt-"  
"Yes you have!" Azula cried, "you have- and you're so caught up in yourself that you can't realize it! It was my choice to tell you! Mine! It was my choice to tell them! And you've taken that away from me and you've done it by stating lies! If I could tell you how much I hate you I would but I can't and I have so much anger inside of me right now it's painful. And I want to hurt you so badly but I can't because you're my brother and-and I love you. And that's why I hate you. Because I can't bring myself to make you feel the pain I'm feeling now-"  
"Easy," Kiyi blurted, moving to steady Azula as she swayed on her feet. "I've got you. Calm down. Breathe."   
But Azula wasn't keen on sticking around. She felt sick, impossibly ill from head to toe, and she weakly brushed Kiyi aside and fled the room.   
She had one destination in mind and barely made it before she was violently ill. The reality of what just happened hit her like a truck. Her heart hurt nearly as much as her pride. How could he? How could he ever do such a thing and act as if it were okay?   
As more tears fell, and Azula found herself ill again she laid on the cool floor once her stomach had calmed. She was aware of the thick sheen of sweat covering her skin but that didn't matter so much to her now.   
She wanted to die. To curl up into a ball and disappear but that was impossible and she hated that it was impossible.   
"Azula," Ursa worried, stepping hurriedly inside the bathroom and easing the door shut behind herself. "Oh honey."   
Azula didn't move as her mother sat beside her. She didn't move until her breathing became quick and shallow, her sorrow was reborn as all that happened replayed yet again in her mind, and Ursa was left to hold her daughter's hair back as Azula vomited.   
"Mom?" Kiyi asked, her voice full of hesitation on the other side of the door. "Is she okay?"   
"Not now Kiyi," Ursa apologized, "she'll be alright just give us time."   
"Okay," Kiyi replied, the single word full of uncertainty.   
"Azula, love, it's okay. You have to calm down," Ursa soothed, rubbing small circles into Azula's back.   
"He hates me. He hates me," the princess repeated, the words broken in grief. "He won't look at me."  
"That's not true," Ursa shook her head, "he's your bother. He loves you."  
"If he loves me why did he kill me?" Azula asked, her words desperate for an answer.   
Ursa's eyes reflected Azula's like broken glass as she wiped away her daughter's tears. "I think-I think he's afraid for you."   
"Afraid? Mother, I've been afraid of myself this entire time why do you think I hid from him? Why do you think I wanted him to be naive? Why do you think I tried so hard to lie to him?" Azula demanded, tears falling anew. "Because all this time this secret has had the ability to destroy who I am to him."   
"You can't know that," Ursa worried, but even she couldn't believe her own words. "Please tell me you can't know that."  
"He seemed so proud to tell me that he knew this-this mark wasn't true. Like it was some saving grace to him," Azula continued.   
"Azula-"  
"He said I deserved it, mother!" Azula glared, "he said I deserved it. Don't you understand?"  
And Ursa did. To Azula, Zuko had become her father.   
The princess' eyes shifted to the floor and she moved to lean against the side of the tub with her knees tucked up to her chest. "I want to be alone."   
"I don't think that's a good idea," Ursa sighed.   
"Then so be it," Azula frowned. She got shakily to her feet and marched out of the bathroom nearly knocking Kiyi flat. Walking swiftly back towards the main room, Azula followed Zuko into the courtyard where flames danced about the cobblestones.   
It took her only a moment to realize what he was doing and she lunged, wrestling with his arms.   
"Get off-" Zuko shouted only to receive a sharp fist to his face. Blood spurted from his nose as he clutched crumpled letters in his right hand.   
"Give then to me," Azula demanded, her eyes alight with a ferocious fire. "You burn any more of them and I will kill you."   
"I'm protecting you," Zuko insisted, spurring blood from his mouth. Azula's eyes narrowed as she set her feet and raised her fists ready to strike. "Don't do this."   
"Don't make me," Azula warned.   
"Why?"  
"Because you deserve it."   
The princess' words held a venom worse than any Zuko had heard before and suddenly he understood. Setting his jaw, he shoved the letters into his sister's chest, some of them stained with blood, and left her in the courtyard to try and save what she could of the burning papers.


	8. Chapter Eight

Tension in the palace only worsened since that night. Little was said or done and little was acknowledged. To say it made Ursa sad was an understatement. For once her children were finally getting along but it seemed that never lasted more than a lucky string of months. Of course, she didn't blame Azula for being angry. She had every right to be, but the amount of silent rage that the princess had was scary. There were times Ursa caught Azula trembling simply because of the anger in her heart and the inability to properly express it.   
What's more, Zuko and Mai weren't on speaking terms and Ursa suspected it had to do with Zuko's callous discovery about Azula. The only person within the palace and Ursa's family who didn't have a bone to pick with someone was Kiyi.   
"So, at school I have this project," Kiyi ventured, snapping Ursa from er thoughts as they all ate a very awkward and very silent dinner, "and I was wondering if one of you could help."   
"What's it about?" Zuko asked.   
"So I have to come up with an experiment, and science isn't really my thing," Kiyi blushed, "so...any experiment ideas?"  
"That's kind of vague," Mai noted, her brow furrowing in thought. "You have to make an experiment. Just any kind? About anything?"  
"Yep, but I want it to be the best and the most interesting," Kiyi decided. "So, please give me your ideas so I can steal them."   
"At least you're honest about stealing," Ikem teased, earning a playful side eye from his daughter.   
"You could always do a social experiment," Zuko suggested. "I read that the presentation of food helps determine whether people will eat it or not. You could make the same meal but present it in two different ways and see which one people are more likely to eat."   
"Not a bad idea," Kiyi noted, "any other ideas?"  
"Explosives," Mai smirked.   
"Uh," Kiyi worried, "I don't think mom will let me play with explosives."   
"That would be a correct assumption," Ursa mused.   
"You could see how likely it is for history to actually repeat itself," Azula muttered, not making eye contact.   
"Woah," Kiyi gasped, "that sounds awesome! How would we do it though?"  
"I can show you," Azula promised, pushing her food around with her fork.   
"Great!" Kiyi grinned, wiggling excitedly in her seat.   
"I guess that's that then," Zuko noted.  
Once again a heavy silence settled over the table. Azula was the first to leave and she gestured for Kiyi to follow. The youngest sibling was happy to do so. She matched Azula's pace as the headed to the library.   
"It'll be an extensive project but I won't mind helping," Azula promised, "you'll have to make a timeline and take a lot of notes but I guarantee this will win whatever award you're looking for."   
"I don't doubt it," Kiyi smiled, following Azula into the large library.   
Shelves upon shelves of scrolls and books decorated the walls and interior of the room. It was any avid reader's paradise. "Where do we start?"  
"As far back as we can," Azula explained, venturing to the farthest section of the library where a thick layer of dust covered the shelves and scrolls. "We start at the beginning."   
After a half hour of looking, Kiyi and Azula sat at a table piled high with books and scrolls. Each had paper and ink to take notes with and the silence that had once been awkward was now comfortable.   
"Azula?" Kiyi ventured, shifting nervously in her seat.   
"Hm?" Azula asked, not looking away from her book.   
"Um, if it's any consolation to you, I think you're pretty brave," Kiyi muttered, "you know, to still love Ty Lee even after all you've been through. Most people would've given up but you didn't and I admire that."   
Kiyi sat still, holding her breath and waiting for the inevitable fall out of her remark. None came. Instead, Azula let out a long sigh and spared her younger sister a small glance.   
"Thank you," Azula whispered, her demeanor shifting ever so slightly. She was more relaxed now, less tense and angry looking. "But, it's not-it's not brave and it's not something to admire. Don't fool yourself into thinking that, Kiyi."   
"That's just it though," Kiyi continued in a burst of courage, "it is! Maybe you've fooled yourself into thinking that it isn't? You can't possibly be the only one whose had to experience these things. Other people have too, and they would-they would rally behind you in an instant. I guarantee it."   
"Thank you, Kiyi, I'm relieved you don't see it the way others do, but the world isn't that simple and I'm not trying to demean you but your outlook is naive," Azula explained, her voice becoming stern as if she were scolding her younger sister. "There's a reason people like me keep secrets. There's a reason you don't see others like me out and about doing whatever they want with whoever they want. Because the people who are normal far outway those of us who aren't and that is a terrifying thought I'd rather not think about."   
"You could help them though," Kiyi mumbled, "You could show them it's okay."   
"Or I could be killed, disowned, banished, etc. Just...don't get involved with it Kiyi. At least for your own good. I can't have you getting into trouble by defending me," Azula replied, her expression softening as she noticed Kiyi's crestfallen gaze.   
"I just care about you," Kiyi sighed, "that's all."   
"I know," Azula smiled faintly. "You're a good sister."   
— — —  
It was Kiyi's project that kept Azula sane over the next two weeks. It distracted her from her anger, her pain, and her loneliness, but it also gave her an opportunity to know Kiyi more than she ever had before. Unfortunately, Kiyi was a painful reminder of the one person Azula wanted to see more than anyone else.   
Like Ty Lee, Kiyi hates sitting still longer than necessary. Like Ty Lee, she asked silly questions one moment and deep thoughtful ones the next. Like Ty Lee she always found a way to make light of a boring situation. Like Ty Lee, Kiyi was cheery, curious, kind hearted, silly, and all around the kind of girl people would fall head over heels for.   
"How's the project coming along?" Ikem asked, sidling over to the table Kiyi and Azula has claimed some time ago.   
"Fantastic!" Kiyi grinned, currently laying across the table with a book in her hands. "I'm learning a lot but it's also kind of like a puzzle or a big game of connect the dots."   
"Fascinating," Ikem smiled, tickling the bottom of Kiyi's bare feet.   
"Daddy! No!" Kiyi laughed, rolling off the table and landing with an 'oof.'  
"If you kill her I'm telling mom," Azula replied dryly which only made the other two laugh.   
"I'm fine," Kiyi promised, simply making herself comfortable on the floor.   
"Ikem?" Ursa called, poking her head into the library. Something about her tone made Azula nervous. Kiyi sensed it too because she sat up to peek over the table's edge. "Can I talk to you for a moment?"  
"Of course," Ikem nodded, leaving Azula and Kiyi alone.   
"I don't like the sound of that," Kiyi worried.   
"Neither do I," Azula agreed.   
Both girls waited impatiently for some sort of news but none came. At last, Kiyi clambered to her feet and ventured into the hallway. Azula didn't follow. She figured that if it pertained to her they would tell her. If not, there was no reason for her to be worried.   
Then came the dreaded, "Azula?"  
The princess glanced up from her work to see her mother taking the only other open seat across from her.   
"What?" Azula asked.   
"I got word from Katara in Republic City. There was...an explosion at the courthouse. We haven't gotten word from anyone about casualties. We do know that the avatar, Toph, Sokka, and Ty Lee were inside."   
"What?" Azula asked again, only this time her voice was incredibly small.   
"Chances are things are fine considering Aang was there, but Katara suspects that a group of separatists or a local gang are responsible," Ursa continued.   
"She'll be okay right?" Azula asked, feeling like the wind was knocked out of her.   
"I don't know," Ursa admitted.   
"Does Zuko know?" Azula worried. "Is he sending help? The entire courthouse was full last time I was there. There's going to be people that are hurt and-"  
"He knows," Ursa promised, "but he's not sending help. It won't get there in time to be of use. For now we just have to wait."   
"Right," Azula nodded, swallowing tightly.   
"Are you okay?" Ursa asked.   
"Yeah," Azula insisted, but the book she was holding began to smolder, and her knuckles were turning white from gripping it so hard.   
— — —  
"Is Twinkle Toes still out?" Toph asked, her arms beginning to shake from holding the rubble up.   
"Yeah," Sokka worried, using his overcoat to compress a nasty gash on Aang's head.   
"We gotta her word outside," Toph worried.   
"There's unfortunately no way out," Sokka replied.   
"I can try squeezing through the gaps," Ty Lee offered, noticing the fear in the other ambassador's faces. There were dozens of people relying on Toph so they wouldn't be crushed by tons of debris.   
"You sure you can fit?" Sokka asked, eyeing the narrow gaps amidst the rubble.   
"I'm flexible," Ty Lee promised, "I'll make it work so long as Top can keep things steady."   
"I've done it before. Nothing like round two," Toph grunted, but Ty Lee still worried. With Aang out like a light, Toph had no help in supporting the weight of the rubble.   
"Right. I'll be back with help," Ty Lee assured, stepping over people, hands, arms, and legs until she reached a sizable hole. Sucking in a sharp breath, she wedged herself through the gap and disappeared from sight.   
It was dark to say the least, but there were thin beams of light that allowed her to see even if it wasn't much. Practically tucked in on herself, the acrobat shifted onto her back and scooted backwards through a crevice feeling the rough stone against her skin. Shimmying our the other side, she crawled slowly over a massive chunk of stone and slipped down through a gap on the other side.   
It was a rough, narrow, dark, and deadly maze. Sweat coated her in a thick film, and dust began to stick to her like a second layer of skin. Coughing to clear her lungs, Ty Lee searched about for the next gap.   
This one was far smaller than all of the others, but with a set jaw she raised her arms overhead and wriggled through the first half only to have to change directions half way through. If she didn't, she'd get stuck between the gap and a large bit of stone.   
Grunting, she arched back, and grasped blindly at the large stone above looking for some form of purchase. Her palms were becoming raw and her knees were already scraped. Clutching at a small handhold, she pulled her legs up through the first gap and continued to wriggle through the second.   
As time passed, she grew increasingly tired, sore, and scraped up. At once point a pice of metal sliced along her hip sending blood running down her leg.   
Despite this, Ty Lee continued, and after an eternity she saw an exit. A small cry of relief escaped her and she tumbled out of the final crevice not gloriously as some hero but rather pathetically.   
"Holy shit!" Someone yelled, and the acrobat was vaguely aware of someone pulling her to her feet.   
"You okay?" It was Katara.   
"Worry about that later. Aang's unconscious and Toph's holding that whole place up. Everyone's grouped together and I only got out through some gaps," Ty Lee explained in a rush of breath and words.   
"Right," Katara nodded. "Do you think you can give a rough layout of things so we don't accidentally crush anyone?"  
"Yeah, give me some paper," Ty Lee nodded.   
She did her best to roughly sketch out what the interior of the collapsed building looked like, and hoped that the other earth benders on scene could pull off a rescue mission without accidentally squishing everyone.   
— — —  
Azula did her best not to seem worried. She did her best not to pace or to be anxious but that wasn't as easy as she thought. She didn't have the slightest clue what was going on in Republic City and for all she knew anyone inside that building was dead.   
Hours passed, the sun began to set, and still no word had come. Azula didn't sleep that night. She couldn't. Her thoughts were running wild and she could only imagine worst case scenarios. What was more, Azula couldn't really recall the last time she'd been able to hold the acrobat's hand or to see her smile or to hear her laugh and the thought of not experiencing any of that again frightened her.   
It made her sick.   
And when the sun rose the next day her worry was still there and her fears lurked around every corner. It was hard to think or to acknowledge those around her and it was hard to comprehend the passage of time.   
All she could do was wait impatiently for some news, some letter saying everything was okay but that never came. Not the second night, and not the third morning.   
Frankly, it was driving her mad. To anyone else she looked like a ghost, or a shadow, an empty shell and not much more. She was too absorbed in her own thoughts.   
And then, finally, the universe gave her a break. A message came.   
"Everyone's alright," Ursa informed," Toph managed to keep the building from collapsing on everyone. People's wounds are being treated as we speak."  
"Good," Azula nodded, letting out a small sigh. "That's good."  
"I'm not sure when she'll be home but it'll be soon," Ursa insisted, though there was no way of knowing if she was right.   
So Azula had to wait yet again, but this seemed even worse than before. She didn't know if Ty Lee was hurt or if she was okay or if she was even out of the rubble yet. There were too many possibilities to think on and too much time to do so.   
Only Azula didn't know how complicated things would become. Because, while she wanted to see Ty Lee more than anything in the world, Ty Lee didn't know what had transpired within the palace while she was away and Azula dreaded having to explain it to her.   
And all the while she could feel Zuko's watchful gaze. He was studying her for some reason and she hated it. Did he want her to react a certain way? Did he expect her to be behaving any differently than she was? What was she doing that warranted his attention?   
"Here." Azula jumped in her seat at the table where she'd been sitting since breakfast. Mai handed her a charred piece of paper. "I found this outside. I think it's one of yours."   
"Oh," Azula nodded, taking it carefully. "Thank you."   
"Of course," Mai nodded, smiling faintly. "I didn't see any others."   
"It's alright," Azula sighed, "don't worry yourself over it they're just papers."   
"You and I both know that's not true," Mai shook her head, "they matter to you so they matter to me."   
The sentence, although simple in nature, surprised Azula. She regarded Mai carefully before deciding that Mai was being honest. "I...appreciate it."   
"SHE'S BACK!" Kiyi's yell was enough to startle both Mai and Azula who instinctively stood up prepared to fend off some unseen threat.  "SHE'S BACK! I'M SO EXCITED!"  
"What the hell?" Mai frowned in confusion. "How does she know?"  
"She got a telescope a few birthday's ago, she's been spying on the docks," Ursa informed, trying to hush her youngest daughter but it wasn't working in the slightest.  
Kiyi jogged in place waiting impatiently until a familiar pink clad figure ventured into the room and suddenly she bolted. Kiyi nearly knocked the acrobat flat from the force of her hug but Ty Lee managed to regain her balance. "I missed you so much! You're alive! That's great! How's everyone else? Was it scary? Was it cool? What happened? Did you-"  
"Okay," Ursa interrupted, "Kiyi, let her breathe."   
"It's alright," Ty Lee promised, but she looked tired and worn. "I'll answer all your questions tomorrow. I'm really tired."   
"Awwwe okay," Kiyi groaned, but she wasn't truly disappointed.   
"It's good to be back," Ty Lee sighed, giving Ursa a light hug, then wandering over to Mai and giving her a hug too. "You're not taller are you?"  
"Yeah," Mai rolled her eyes, "no, I'm not. I stopped growing a long time ago you dork."   
"Hey Zuko," the acrobat smiled tiredly, but he wasn't paying much attention to her. Instead, he was watching Azula closely with a look of mild irritation. "Am I missing something?"   
"I don't know," Zuko shrugged, "are you?"  
The remark made Azula bristle but she held her tongue. Sure, she was glad Ty Lee was okay, despite the bandages on her arms and torso, and she wanted to smother the acrobat in a hug and maybe cry a little too but not here. Not now.   
"Zuko," Mai sighed.  
"I'm just trying to understand why you're acting like nothing's changed. Everybody knows. You don't have to be so stoic," Zuko stated, seeming to ignore Mai's warning.   
"Don't start," Azula glowered. "Please."   
"It just doesn't make sense," Zuko continued, "I'd expect you to be elated, excited, I don't know...actually greet her."   
"Yeah," Ty Lee frowned, "I missed something. What's going on?"  
"Don't look at me," Zuko held his hands up in front of himself, "ask her."   
With venom in her eyes, Azula took Ty Lee by the hand and pulled off to the side hopefully out of sight from the others.   
"'Zula, what happened?" Ty Lee asked, her expression softening. Taking a shaky breath, Azula did her best to explain what happened.   
"I just...I don't know. I don't want things to change from how they were. I liked it when they didn't know because they didn't expect anything. They didn't expect me to act a certain way or to do certain things and I just-they didn't know," Azula worried, pulling anxiously at the hem of her shirt.   
"Then thing don't have to change," Ty Lee promised. "I'm sorry this all happened. It's not fair and you have every right to be angry-"  
"It wasn't just my privacy though," Azula glowered, "it was yours. I'm used to having my privacy invaded but the fact that he just-it's not right."  
"It happened though, and we can't change it," the acrobat sighed.  
"And I don't want it to seem like I'm unhappy you're back. I'm glad you're okay. I was worried and I couldn't sleep...but I didn't know how to react," Azula admitted. "I just want to be alone with you and act like nothing happened. I just want to rest but now anytime we're alone together they'll-they'll assume things and-"  
"Then that's their issue," Ty Lee smiled faintly. "Don't worry about them. You don't have to. And frankly Zuko's lucky I'm tired because I kind of want to beat him up."  
It was the first time in a while Azula laughed, and she very carefully pulled the acrobat into a hug. She nestled her face into the crook of Ty Lee's shoulder and a sense of relief washed over her. In fact, just standing there quietly was enough to remind Azula how tired she truly was.   
But what Azula didn't know was that her family could see everything that transpired and for Ursa it was nice to see Azula laugh again. It was nice to see her smile and even cry a little. She was beginning to realize that Azula and Ty Lee brought the best out in each other. There was nothing wrong with that. There was even something soft and sweet in their relationship that Ursa hadn't noticed before. It was an understanding amongst them that others would never be privy to.   
But for Zuko it was strange. He hated the idea of his sister being so dependent on someone else. He hated the idea that someone else could change Azula so much that she became some sort of stranger to him. It was foreign and uncomfortable for Zuko to see. Why? He wasn't sure, but he didn't stick around like the others. He didn't want to.


	9. Chapter Nine

"Will you stay with me tonight?" Azula asked, vaguely aware of the fact that her family was watching her.   
"I don't know if that's a good idea considering my inj-" the acrobat paused when she noticed the flash of worry on Azula's face.   
"Did they not heal you?" The princess asked, her worry turning to concern.   
"No, no," Ty Lee assured, "they stitched me up but there were others worse off. I told them to focus on those who needed more attention."   
"Of course," Azula sighed, shaking her head.   
"But," the acrobat continued, "if you want me to stay with you I can."  
"Really?"  
"Really."   
Azula smiled thinly and tentatively played with the acrobat's long fingers. "You get cleaned up and I'll be in my room shortly. I'm going to say goodnight first."  
Ty Lee gave a small nod, and shuffled tiredly down the hallway towards the princess' room while Azula faced her family. They all acted as if they hadn't been watching the interaction, which Azula found somewhat amusing, but she didn't let on that she knew they'd been staring.   
"Going to bed?" Kiyi asked, already moving to hug her older sister goodnight.   
"I'm tired," Azula sighed, "I haven't slept well lately."  
"Then rest up," Kiyi insisted. Azula promised she would before hugging her mother goodnight and giving Ikem a small wave. The princess paused in front of her brother, whose face remained stoic.   
"Goodnight Zuko," Azula spoke softly, hesitantly. He said nothing reply. He only nodded. "Goodnight Mai."  
"Goodnight," Mai smiled, "and Kiyi's right. You need sleep."   
"Trust me," Azula laughed lightly, "I know."  
Having accomplished what she wanted, the princess ventured to her room where she found a rather frustrated acrobat trying to undress.   
"This is stupid," Ty Lee groaned, trying to reach back and undo the tie of her shirt. "I was able to put this on and now I can't get it off. My whole body hates me."   
"Soreness always sets in the second day and usually in the evening," Azula noted, "would you like help?"  
"Please?" The acrobat pouted, giving up.   
Nodding, Azula moved behind Ty Lee and easily undid the tie of her shirt. It wasn't one of the usual tops Ty Lee wore, but it was one of the few she didn't have to pull over her head which spared her stitches from tearing. But it wasn't until the acrobat's top came off that Azula began to understand the extent of her injuries.   
A series of deep scrapes ran down Ty Lee's spine and the wounds hadn't been properly cleaned or bandages from what she could tell. "Ty? Did they ever treat your back?"  
"Just the more serious injuries," Ty Lee explained.   
"Of course," Azula sighed, "sit down. I'll be back."   
Ty Lee did as she was told and Azula vanished into the adjoining bathroom before returning with a wooden box. Inside was a slew of first aid supplies.   
"You gonna patch me up?" Ty Lee asked.   
"I'm gonna take care of you," Azula informed, "since they didn't."  
The acrobat sat still as Azula took up a place behind her. She was prepared for the stinging antiseptic, and the cool relief of a damp cloth, or even the pinching of tweezers pulling free anal pieces of rubble in the wound, but she wasn't prepared for Azula's gentle touches and reassurances. Any wince elicited a swift apology from the princess and a light comforting touch to the small of her back.   
"There," Azula sighed, "now, what else is there?"  
"Uhm," Ty Lee stood up and carefully pulled down the waistband of her pants, "this."   
Azula's eyes widened at the long line of stitches traversing the acrobat's hip bone. Then, with narrowed eyes and a delicate touch, Azula inspected the wound for any flaws in its stitching. "You should cover the stitches so they don't rip."   
"Right," Ty Lee nodded.   
Azula looked up only to catch sight of the bruising about her acrobat's ribs. Her heart sank. "Does it hurt you to breath?"  
"A little," Ty Lee admitted.   
Sighing, Azula nodded inspected the acrobat's shirt. "Don't wear a top tonight. The pressure may feel nice but it's not good for broken ribs to keep them bound up. No binds either."   
Ty Lee arched a brow at that but it took a moment for Azula to realize what the acrobat was teasing her for. Once she did though, Azula's cheeks were a vibrant red and hot to the touch.   
"I'm kidding Azula," Ty Lee laughed, though she grimaced at the end. "Just teasing."   
"I know," Azula assured, but that didn't mean she wouldn't blush at such jokes. "Anyways, I actually think it'll be best if you don't wash up tonight. Just sleep."  
"Sleep is good," the acrobat agreed, her eyelids heavy. "Can you bandage my hip before I pass out?"  
"Sure," Azula smiled, drawing the acrobat closer and setting to work. The bandaging was neat and precise. Something that was important when it came to speeding up recovery processes. Something Azula never did for herself but would do in a heart beat for the acrobat.   
And, though it was brief, her arm flared up in pain. Now that the throbbing pain was no more, and her flesh had scarred, the world found ways to remind her what pain was.   
"Are you okay?" Ty Lee worried.  
"Yes," Azula nodded, forcing a smile, "it happens on occasion. It's something new. Nerve pain."  
"Right," Ty Lee nodded, but her eyes reflected a gentle pity for the princess.   
"There," Azula sighed, finishing her work and collecting the first aid box. "Do you-do you need me to help you..."  
"Oh, no," the acrobat shook her head, aware of Azula's averted gaze and the insulated ending to her question, "I can manage."   
Seeming relieved, Azula left rather quickly and took her time in placing the medical supplies precisely where they'd been before. Only she didn't need to stall for time because upon returning to her room, Azula spotted Ty Lee sound asleep, laying on her stomach, arms tucked beneath a pillow, bare back peeking out over the covers, and her bangs askew. At first she thought it might be a painful position, but upon further consideration, Azula realized it was probably the least painful. With a scraped up back, and broken ribs, sleeping on her side or on her back wasn't much of an option. Either way, Azula was just glad the acrobat wasn't in too much pain.   
Giving a fond sigh, Azula moved to tuck the acrobat in properly, prepared for bed herself, and clambered beneath the covers making sure to stay on her side of the mattress. Only she couldn't help looking at the peaceful expression on Ty Lee's face. There was something about it that made Azula's chest ache.   
Closing her eyes, the princess tried not to dwell on such things, and welcomed sleep with open arms.   
— — —  
"I wanted to let you know that Zuko's ordered both our families into the palace," Mai explained, briefly interrupting Kiyi and Ty Lee's painting session. They were attempting to make portraits of each other and it was going precisely how one would expect for the two of them.   
"Why?" Kiyi asked, tongue sticking slightly out of the corner of her mouth as she focused.  
"Considering the attack in Republic City and a message received this morning that another attack was stopped by Toph, it's a safety precaution. He doesn't want them to be collateral," Mai explained. "I know you had a falling out with your family Ty, but there's not much I can do to change his mind. He's anxious."  
"When was this?" Azula asked, having been lounging on the couch and inspecting Kiyi's portrait of her.   
"Sheesh," the acrobat sighed, "a while ago. Not long after you'd just been allowed to stay in the palace. I visited my family just to see how they were doing."  
"What happened?" Azula asked, her brow furrowed.   
"My mother was ill, my father was drinking, and financially everything was a mess. They couldn't afford to take care of her and my sisters were still living at home. I didn't leave in good terms," Ty Lee explained.   
"You could have asked us for help-"  
"I offered," Ty Lee interrupted the princess. "It only made him angrier."   
"Done!" Kiyi declared, having lost interest in the conversation a while ago.   
"Hmmm, I'm done too," Ty Lee decided. At the same time the two girls flipped their canvases around. For Ty Lee, she'd made Kiyi's nose too small, her eyes a little lopsided, and her ears at an odd angle. For Kiyi, she gave Ty Lee a very narrow chin, forgot eyebrows were part of someone's face, and drew an oversized nearly creepy smile.   
The two devolved into giggles as they inspected each other's work. Only Azula's mind was racing. She didn't want to press for details, but she wanted to know what precisely Ty Lee meant by leaving on bad terms.   
As far as Azula knew, Ty Lee had always been on relatively good terms with her family, albeit she'd been rather neglected which had led to her joining the circus, but the acrobat had never spoken of them with such...emptiness.   
"Messages were sent," Zuko announced, pausing as he entered the room to take in the absurdity of Kiyi and Ty Lee's portraits. "They'll be here by this evening."   
"The rooms are ready then?" Mai asked.   
"Wait!" Ty Lee exclaimed. "Does this mean Tom Tom is coming?"  
"Mhm," Mai smiled.   
"I haven't seen him in years!" Ty Lee gasped, turning quickly to Azula, "he's probably super tall now! And a gentleman!"  
"I remember when he was a baby," Azula snorted, "but I doubt he'll recognize me."   
"He will," Mai promised, "he used to ask about you as a toddler. He was very concerned about your well being despite hardly meeting you. But it's probably because I told him about you. Nice things of course."   
"Right," Azula teased.   
"Honest," Mai insisted.   
"Well, in the mean time, I'll be doing my...job. Running the nation and all of that," Zuko sighed, not sounding enthused at all.   
"You could take a break you know," Mai noted, but this only seemed to agitate him.   
"I would if I weren't waiting on news from the city," Zuko promised. He gave Mai a kiss on the cheek before quickly leaving the room.   
"Is the wedding still on hold?" Azula asked, arching a brow.   
"Until he learns to be nice to you and Ty," Mai set her jaw, "then yes."  
"Don't pause your life for me," Azula spoke firmly. "I won't have it. You've been planning it for months. I won't be the reason your relationship is strained."   
"You're not," Mai assured, "but you're my friends and that's not going to change. He's going to have to get over it and deal with the fact that you can care about whoever you want. If Tom Tom dates another boy and someone looked or talked to him the way Zuko has with the two of you, they'd be stabbed and dead."  
"Wow," Kiyi gasped, expression one of awe.   
"Not that I encourage murder," Mai frowned to which Kiyi smiled innocently.   
"Well, Azula has a point," Ty Lee sighed, "but if that's what you want I won't push you to change your mind."  
"Likewise," Azula agreed.   
"Thank you," Mai smiled faintly. "Now, how about I get a portrait?"  
"Yes," Kiyi grinned, "please, sit. I will make you perfect!"   
"She's not half bad," Ty Lee laughed.   
"I don't doubt it," Mai smirked.  
— — —  
"Who the hell are you?" Kiyi asked, turning the corner and running into a pale, lanky, dark haired boy, and nearly spilling her drink.   
"Tom Tom," the boy replied, looking quizzically at his older sister who was stifling a laugh.   
"Oh. I'm Kiyi," Kiyi explained, taking a long and loud sip from her cup as she walked around the older boy and took her seat at the dinner table.   
"She's, interesting," Tom Tom muttered, rubbing awkwardly at the back of his neck.   
"Oh she's wild," Mai smirked.   
"Noted," Tom Tom chuckled.   
"Tom Tom!" Ty Lee exclaimed, tackling the boy in a hug from behind. His expression lit up immediately and he spun about to hug her back. "You're so tall and handsome and smart looking! How old are you? When was your birthday? I can't believe I don't remember it! What's school been like? What are you studying? Did you-"  
"Let him breath," Azula sighed, taking her time to appear in the dining room. Mai's family had arrived early, and truthfully Azula liked that they had. It was less overwhelming.   
"I can breath," Tom Tom promised. "But we can talk all about that stuff later. For now, I want food. I am starving."   
"Of course you are," Azula smirked, "you're a growing young man. Very...dapper in nature."   
"Thank you," Tom Tom smiled, giving a small bow. "It's nice to see you in good spirits."   
"Yes, well, don't get used to it. I still have a temper," Azula teased. Tom Tom's grin only widened and he was as endearing as he had been when little.   
However, the gentle chatter was slowly consumed by multiple voices and the sounds of a large family making their presence known.   
"Sorry for being late," a man called out, stepping into the room followed by the rest of his family. Ty Lee practically disappeared behind Tom Tom not at all looking happy that her family had, indeed, arrived.   
"No worries," Zuko smiled, waving aside the remark. "We haven't started eating yet. Come take your seats."   
Ty Lee's father nodded, and motioned for his daughters to follow. It had been years since Azula had seen Ty Lee's sisters, and while they looked very similar to the acrobat, much had changed with the passage of time.   
What's more, there were a few additional members to the family that Azula hadn't seen before. There was a man, well built, stern looking, and rather handsome with an arm wrapped about the shoulders of Ty Lee's sister Ty Lin.   
Then there was the crying infant that another man held, slightly younger than the former, seemingly belonging to Ty Lat. The princess turned to the acrobat with an arched brow but even Ty Lee looked utterly appalled.   
"Who the hell are you?" She asked, stepping out from behind Tom Tom and eyeing the two men.   
"Ty Lee!" Ty Woo exclaimed, happily hugging her sister though the others seemed less inclined to greet her.   
"Hello," the acrobat smiled wearily, briefly returning the hug without taking her eyes off the strange men. "But seriously, who are you?"   
"Tanro," the man responded, "Ty Lin's husband."   
"Husband?" Ty Lee frowned, turning to her sister, "you're married?!"  
"Nearly a year now," Ty Lin replied tentatively.   
"And you?" Ty Lee asked the younger man. "Are you Ty Lat's husband?"  
"Yes," the man nodded, seeming embarrassed.   
"You're married too? Since when? And when did you have a baby?" Ty Lee asked, setting her hands on her hips. It was the first time in ages that Azula had seen her so genuinely angry she was beginning to shake. "Anyone else have any surprises?"  
"Calm down," Ty Lee's father snapped, "don't go making a scene."   
"I think it's already been made," Kiyi remarked, giving them the stink eye from where she sat.   
"Kiyi," Ikem scolded though she pretended to be clueless about what she'd done wrong.   
"Can we eat?" Tom Tom asked, timidly breaking the tension.   
"Right. Yes," Zuko nodded.   
Everyone awkwardly moved to their places but Azula noticed how quick Ty Lee's family was to fill the chairs on one side of the long table leaving her out.   
Silence, thicker than any Azula had experienced before, settled over them. It took several minutes before Tom Tom grew too uncomfortable to handle it anymore.   
"You wanted to know what I've been studying," He reminded, looking fondly at Ty Lee trying to show that he did, in fact, care about her. "I'm studying geography. It's boring to some people but I like understanding how the land we live on effects our ways of life. It has a very large impact on culture and it's always changing."   
"That's boring alright," Kiyi snorted, "but you have a point. There's some interesting aspects to it. Do you have to memorize all that stuff?"  
"Unfortunately," Tom Tom laughed.   
"So university is going well?" Ty Lee asked, great full for the distraction.   
"Yep," Tom Tom nodded, "you know professor Shur? He-"  
"She never went to university," Ty Lee's father interjected, "the only one who didn't, actually."   
"I didn't exactly have the opportunity," Ty Lee glowered.   
"You wouldn't have done well anyways, it saved us the funds," he shrugged, taking a bite of his dinner.   
"Right," Ty Lee nodded, looking down at the table.   
Part of Azula wanted to smack the man silly, but the other part of her just wanted to get Ty Lee out of the situation because every one of her senses screamed that things would escalate. And they did.   
"Oh don't act upset," he laughed, "you would have found a way in if you really wanted the education. Which reminds me, how did you manage to become ambassador? Surely there's a thousand other people more qualified than you."   
"Dad-" Ty Lin started but a look from her father cut her short.   
"I appointed her," Azula replied coldly, "do you have a problem with that?"  
"No," he assured, "I was just...surprised is all. I mean, she doesn't really understand politics does she? No wonder the tried to blow the place up."   
"Excuse me?" Azula asked, feeling her chest tighten with anger. "I conquered an entire kingdom when I was fourteen, I read every book I could on politics as a child, I was practically bred for the political atmosphere, and if I think someone is fit for a position then they are. To doubt them is to doubt my authority and I won't stand for that. Am I clear?"   
"Yes," Ty Lee's father nodded, but he couldn't find a way to hold his tongue. "It just seems odd that's all. She wasn't the brightest of her sister-"  
"Do you not comprehend what you're saying?" Azula asked, aware that everyone had gone quiet and was anxiously watching the interaction. "You're her father and you belittle her like she's not even worth your attention? I don't know what kind of issues you have with her but that doesn't give you the right to act like she's worthless. Father's are supposed to be kind-"  
"With all do respect princess, you shouldn't lecture me on what a father is supposed to be when you slept with yours," he replied, eyes narrowed.   
In that moment a single speck of dust could have touched a feather and the sound would be comparable to a fleet of battleship canons sounding off.   
In milliseconds, Azula was on her feet, hands ablaze, a rage so palpable her eyes seemed to be aflame. Before she could lunge at the cocky son of a bitch, she was picked up and practically dragged from the room.   
"Put me down. I'm going to kill him! I swear I'm going to kill him!" She growled, attempting to break free.   
"No, Azula, stop." To her surprise, the person who'd taken her away was Ty Lee. "That's my dad."  
"So?"  
"So, it's no different than you defending yours." The acrobat's eyes were earnest and sad. It was just enough to break through Azula's cloud of rage that she managed to somewhat calm herself .   
"I am not going to let him disrespect you-"  
"I know," Ty Lee smiled faintly, "and I don't expect you to be kind to him, but please, I-I already feel like I don't belong with them. I-I didn't think they'd really cut me out of the pic-picture like that."  
The acrobat's smile turned into a broken sob. Azula's anger vanished instantly. "I'm sorry Ty. I am."  
"They got married, Azula. I wasn't even invited. They didn't even tell me! And I'm an aunt? I would've gone on never knowing if it hadn't been for the stupid explosion! And yeah, I didn't go to university but I-they didn't even offer to let me go when the war ended. I just-I feel like I don't even know them!" The acrobat wiped hurriedly at her eyes. "And I feel stupid for loving them when they don't care about me. Like I should know better, you know? Because I'm used to it."   
"You have every right to be angry, and sad, and bitter, and just...upset," Azula talked softly, gently wiping at Ty Lee's cheeks and collecting stray tears on her fingertips, "but if they don't want you then fine, you're part of my family. I don't even remember life without you or Mai in it. Okay? So, you have a family one way or another."  
"Yeah?"  
"Yeah," Azula nodded, "okay? You're part of my family. Kiyi loves you, Mai loves you, my mom...well, my mom thinks you and Kiyi shouldn't be alone together because the palace might explode, but that's beside the point. The point is, the people that matter care about you."   
"I know," Ty Lee sighed, letting Azula pull her into a hug. "But it still hurts."   
"Believe me Ty, I know. I lived my life believing in love that was a lie and feeling like I was unwanted by my mother. It'll hurt, but I had you back then and now you're going to have me. Okay? I won't let you feel alone," Azula promised, aware that her hold on the acrobat was having some sort of calming effect. "Now, dry your eyes. You can cry to me all about it after dinner. For now, we go back out there with our heads high. Don't give him any satisfaction understand? That's what he wants."   
"Right," Ty Lee nodded, straightening her clothes, and wiping the remaining moisture from her eyes. Azula carefully tucked loose strands of hair back into the acrobat's braid and made sure she looked as unbothered as possible.   
"Beautiful," the princess smiled lightly. "Now come on."   
"Can I sit by you?" Ty Lee asked.   
"Sure," Azula nodded.  
"They won't think it's strange?" Ty Lee worried.   
"Strange?" Azula scoffed, "Please. Aren't you supposed to sit with your family?"   
The princess arched a brow, catching the look of pure affection in the acrobat's eyes, and gave Ty Lee's hand a squeeze. She was finally figuring out how to comfort others, how to be what Ty Lee had always been for her. A friend, a companion, a confident, and, well, family.


End file.
